cops in town, too. But that’s a whole other story.”
Silas and I looked at each other and we both smiled.
The nurse told us we could touch him and talk to him.
Holding him wasn’t an option just yet.
But soon.
Soon? I can’t even hold my own fucking baby? I want to hold my baby! Give me my baby!
I swallowed hard again.
I took a deep breath.
“We’re so happy you’re here,” I said. “You have a lot of people who want to meet you. I’m kind of sorry about that. You’ll understand soon enough.”
“Trust me, kid, you’ll appreciate the quiet time now,” Silas said. “The Justa family is something else.”
I frowned. “Yeah. You have plenty of that Justa blood too. Even if you’re a Rhodes.”
“How about we let him be a Justa?” Silas asked.
“What?”
“He’s a Justa baby, darling,” Silas said. “Believe me. There’s no doubt about it. He’s this family. There’s no need to try and fix anything from my family. I’d rather leave the past behind.”
“Silas… usually…”
“Usually? When has the word usually mattered to us? We met on the road. We fooled around in motel rooms. We fell in love somewhere between here and there. I took on your family. You took on your dream. We’ve been living in a room at the inn. And you just had a baby. Usually?”
I nodded. And the tears came again.
Silas crouched down. “Hey, darling…”
I shook my head. “Look at you. All you’ve done for me. All you’ve given me. You protected me on the road. You were caring toward me. Rough with those who got near me. You showed me what it was like to feel love again. You showed me what it was to chase a dream. You balanced the world for me, Silas. Then you carried it. You came rushing back, knowing something was wrong with me. I told you I was pregnant and you just… you were perfect. You bought me a house! You let me design the inside! You gave me so much and I couldn’t even give you a baby the right way.”
“Dammit, Mila, look at him,” Silas said. “Look at that little baby right there. That’s our baby. I don’t care what the circumstances are. He’s just proving something to us. How strong he is because of how strong you are.”
“I messed it all up. My body messed it all up.”
“Your body did the job it was supposed to do,” he said.
“I let you down. And our son.”
“No, you didn’t. He’s here. He’s perfect. I’m so in love with you both.”
“Silas…”
“Plus, the house isn’t ready yet,” he said.
I laughed. “I just want to hold him.”
“So do I. And he wants to be held by us. But we can talk to him. Tell him stories.”
“No motel stories, Silas,” I said.
“Oh, right. He doesn’t need to know about how he was conceived. Right.”
“I don’t think he was conceived in a motel room,” I said.
“If not a motel, then an inn.”
“Stop,” I said.
“I’m going to keep going until you smile. I can’t let you beat yourself up. Mila, you are the most beautiful and perfect woman I’ve ever met. This is nothing but a wild adventure right now with you. I wouldn’t expect anything less than this right here. And our son is right here with us. Fighting. All he needs from you and me… is love. That’s what we have plenty to give. That’s why we lived at the inn for so long. We didn’t need anything fancy. We just needed love.”
“But we’re going to be in a nice and kind of fancy house.”
“Well, yeah,” Silas said. “I have to spoil the woman I love somehow.”
He kissed my cheek. I shut my eyes and took a breath.
When I opened my eyes, I reached for our baby again.
I touched his hand.
He moved just a little.
I gasped.
“See?” Silas asked. “He knows. He’s smart and strong already. Just like his mother. Isn’t that right, Hank?”
I looked up at Silas. “What did you just say?”
Silas smiled at me. “Hank. He looks like a Hank, right? I mean we could call him Henry or John. I don’t like the name John though. You know why.”
He was referring to John Lovor.
His dislike of the family my family hated made me love him a little more.
“Hank,” I said. “Baby Hank.”
“Hank Rhodes Justa,” Silas said.
“Are you sure?”
Silas grabbed my left hand and interlocked our fingers tight.
Then he touched our son and smiled.
“With you, Mila, and you, baby Hank, I am sure of everything in my life.”
I never felt so much