much as I was. “I’m tired of being careful, tired of living every day walking a straight line. You were the one who told me I should be living and I want to do that. But I know I’d love it more if you were by my side.”
I could tell she wanted to tell me no, and my heart ached for her. But she nodded her head instead. “Go ahead and walk with your guy.” My guy. Not yet, but maybe if I stopped living based on what ifs, and let my guard down, who knew. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
Reaching out, I touched her arm and she offered me the same smile I’d seen so many times before.
“I really want a frozen yogurt.” She nudged my leg with her hand. “Go,” she insisted, “live.”
I took in a deep breath, turned back toward Jay, and climbed out of the car. I realized at that moment that I was wearing my old ratty cut-off shorts and a tank top that said Feed me tacos and tell me I’m pretty across the front. I paused, looked down, and then closed my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat. When I looked up at him he too was looking directly at my shirt.
I shrugged, really not knowing what to say and his smile widened.
“Come on.” He threw his arms over my shoulders and started to drag me along. I didn’t even care that I was now covered in mud too.
***
“You feel like a dumb ass now, don’t you?” I paused with my drink near my lips and looked to my left. A brunette sat down next to me, mud covering her cheek and the corner of her mouth. It didn’t take a genius to figure out just how she got it, the question was from who.
“Em!” We both looked across the yard to a tall blond guy holding up a beer. “You want one?”
“No.” She waved him off and turned back to look at me. “I was like you, thinking Clay was nothing more than an asshole who would break my heart.” I stared at her, wondering where exactly this was going. Then it hit me that Jay had talked about me to her, there was no other explanation. “Jay is one of the good ones. I know it’s hard to tell but I’ve been around this group long enough that I can say that and feel completely confident in it. He’s fun, crazy at times, and loyal as loyal can be, but he is also very sweet and considerate.”
She paused and I searched out Jay, finding him standing near a group of guys. The sound of his laughter echoed over the crowd and as if he felt me watching him, he looked in my direction.
“I do feel like a jerk.” Or maybe a dumb ass. “I regret not giving him a chance to prove me wrong.”
“Looks like you’ll have that chance now.” She got to her feet and that’s when I noticed Jay walking toward us. “Don’t screw it up.” I’d feel small if she weren’t smiling at me knowingly. She wasn’t being bitchy, I knew this. She was simply sticking up for a guy who deserved it. She was watching out for him. I found that to be humbling.
“Ladies.” He offered Em a little nod and she bumped him with her hip.
“Now’s your shot to prove your friend wrong.” He looked at me, trying to hide his worried expression, but I saw it clearly. “Have fun, kids.” And with that she walked away, leaving Jay and me alone. Uncertainty still wavered in his eyes and I patted the now empty space beside me.
With hesitation he sat down and I didn’t even attempt to move away. He was still damp from the hose. Five minutes after they all arrived they turned the hose on one another and the yard was filled with a bunch of screeching weirdos running around. It was amazing and nothing like I’d ever witnessed before. They were just having fun, not caring what anyone else thought, just set free.
I loved it.
“Sorry.” Jay began to move away and I grabbed for his arm. My actions were so out of the ordinary but I refused to focus on them. “I’m still wet.” He grabbed his shirt and pulled it away from his body. The sound of wet material as it slapped back against his chest when he let it go made me laugh.
“A little water won’t kill me.”
Truth was I wanted him