me outside.” I was sure he didn’t want everyone lingering around to hear what a piece of shit he truly was. “I’ll be there in ten.” Ending the call, I tried to rein in my irritation. With each turn I could feel myself growing more frustrated, which I knew could only end badly.
Pulling up seven minutes later, I parked in the nearest empty space and instead of climbing out I took the few extra minutes to calm myself. Closing my eyes I leaned back, resting my head on the seat behind me. The music still played on the radio, my hand drumming to the beat against my thigh.
When I finally felt like I could maintain some control I opened my eyes and that’s when I saw him. Standing just to the left of the front entrance of the hotel, he was staring straight ahead toward me.
Tall, much like me, with the same sandy blond color of hair. I despised the fact that I resembled him so much. But the alternative wasn’t much of a step up. Both my parents were piss poor excuses of family. Jade was the only true family I had.
With one deep breath I grabbed the handle and climbed out of my truck. Fisting the keys in my hand, they bit into my palm.
My father looked around, almost to ensure he was alone before moving toward me. Pausing near the curb he crossed his arms over his chest. An intimidation tactic that may have worked when I was a child but no longer amounted to anything more than a humorous attempt.
“Jay.”
“John.” A father is someone so much more than he’d ever offered.
“You look well.” This was pathetic. The man had absolutely no idea how to talk to me. He was already struggling after less than a minute. “Jade said you—”
“Why don’t we both stop pretending this is a friendly visit between a father and son?”
“So then what is it?”
“I’ve thought about how this conversation would go so many times.” My head felt like it was spinning. “I’ve gone over it and over it, but in the end I always end up at the same place.”
“What place is that?”
“Disgust.” He narrowed his eyes and again it did absolutely nothing to faze me. “You’ve had so many chances to be better, yet it’s always the same. Blow into town, only to rush out and leave a path of destruction in your wake.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Jade.” She is the only fucking reason I give two shits about any of this. “I’m talking about your daughter.” His eyebrows crease in confusion and I wonder to myself if he really is that oblivious. “Make a choice. Be a father, or just walk away. Playing with her head, making her feel like you care only to be let down time after time isn’t doing her any good. In fact, you’re screwing her up. You’re leading her into the arms of all the wrong kinds of men. She’s out there actively seeking a man who will give her all the things she is missing. Do you even care that the last guy she was with beat her up more than once? But because she didn’t want to be alone she took it, she let him hurt her. Somehow in her warped mind she’d convinced herself that having a man that hurt her was better than having no one at all.”
For a split second he looked remorseful but I didn’t back down.
“Be a father. Ask her about her life, show up when you make plans to, call other than to just apologize for missing a dinner. Stop trying to make everything better by throwing money in our accounts. If you can’t be more than just those things, if you can’t be there when you’re needed, then stop trying at all. Because the disappointment that Jade feels every single time you bail on her is harder than just facing your constant absence. Be a fucking man for once in your life. Be the father she needs, or disappear.”
I didn’t care what he had to say in return. Even as I turned around and began to walk away, I ignored when he called out for me. Because I knew what’s coming, more excuses. And if I had to hear one more I might not be able to stop from knocking him on his arrogant ass. Walking away was better, for his safety anyway. I just hoped that one ounce of what I had to say sunk