once, it didn't matter that it was Jared.
"Monster!" I screamed at him.
"She's hysterical," Doc told him. "Hold on."
A sharp, stinging blow whipped across my face.
There was a gasp, far away from the immediate chaos.
"What are you doing?" Ian roared.
"It's having a seizure or something, Ian. Doc's trying to bring it around."
My ears were ringing, but not from the slap. It was the smell-the smell of the silver blood dripping down the walls-the smell of the blood of souls. The room writhed around me as though it were alive. The light twisted into strange patterns, curved into the shapes of monsters from my past. A Vulture unfurled its wings... a claw beast swung its heavy pincers toward my face... Doc smiled and reached for me with silver trickling from his fingertips...
The room spun once more, slowly, and then went black.
Unconsciousness didn't claim me for long. It must have been only seconds later when my head cleared. I was all too lucid; I wished I could stay oblivious longer.
I was moving, rocking back and forth, and it was too black to see. Mercifully, the horrible smell had faded. The musty, humid air of the caves was like perfume.
The feeling of being carried, being cradled, was familiar. That first week after Kyle had injured me, I'd traveled many places in Ian's arms.
"... thought she'd have guessed what we were up to. Looks like I was wrong," Jared was murmuring.
"You think that's what happened?" Ian's voice cut hard in the quiet tunnel. "That she was scared because Doc was trying to take the other souls out? That she was afraid for herself?"
Jared didn't answer for a minute. "You don't?"
Ian made a sound in the back of his throat. "No. I don't. As disgusted as I am that you would bring back more... victims for Doc, bring them back now!-as much as that turns my stomach, that's not what upset her. How can you be so blind? Can't you imagine what that must have looked like to her in there?"
"I know we had the bodies covered before -"
"The wrong bodies, Jared. Oh, I'm sure Wanda would be upset by a human corpse-she's so gentle; violence and death aren't a part of her normal world. But think what the things on that table must have meant to her."
It took him another moment. "Oh."
"Yes. If you or I had walked in on a human vivisection, with torn body parts, with blood splattered on everything, it wouldn't have been as bad for us as it was for her. We'd have seen it all before-even before the invasion, in horror movies, at least. I'd bet she's never been exposed to anything like that in all her lives."
I was getting sick again. His words were bringing it back. The sight. The smell.
"Let me go," I whispered. "Put me down."
"I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry." The last words were fervent, apologizing for more than waking me.
"Let me go."
"You're not well. I'll take you to your room."
"No. Put me down now."
"Wanda -"
"Now!" I shouted. I shoved against Ian's chest, kicking my legs free at the same time. The ferocity of my struggle surprised him. He lost his hold on me, and I half fell into a crouch on the floor.
I sprang up from the crouch running.
"Wanda!"
"Let her go."
"Don't touch me! Wanda, come back!"
It sounded like they were wrestling behind me, but I didn't slow. Of course they were fighting. They were humans. Violence was pleasure to them.
I didn't pause when I was back in the light. I sprinted through the big cavern without looking at any of the monsters there. I could feel their eyes on me, and I didn't care.
I didn't care where I was going, either. Just somewhere I could be alone. I avoided the tunnels that had people near them, running down the first empty one I could find.
It was the eastern tunnel. This was the second time I'd sprinted through this corridor today. Last time in joy, this time in horror. It was hard to remember how I'd felt this afternoon, knowing the raiders were home. Everything was dark and gruesome now, including their return. The very stones seemed evil.
This way was the right choice for me, though. No one had any reason to come here, and it was empty.
I ran to the farthest end of the tunnel, into the deep night of the empty game room. Could I really have played games with them such a short time ago? Believed the smiles on their faces,