power of my own weakness.”
“Look at me,” she said, poking her own chest. “I am not eaten by wolves. I’m here. In front of you. I am the woman that you wanted then, but I’m stronger now. I’m choosing to stand here. Whatever you might think. I choose to be with you. We are stronger than this. What happened all those years ago was a tragedy. And I wish... I only wish that if we could have been together then, we were able to be strong enough to recognize the feelings we had. But I wasn’t. I was young, and I was immature. And I couldn’t figure out what I wanted. I was happy to go along pleasing my father because I could get no approval from my mother. I felt resentment toward you because you were the brother my mom wanted me to be with. And because you made me feel things I wasn’t ready to feel. I wouldn’t have been ready for your seduction then. It would’ve burnt me alive.”
She blinked furiously. “And you... You were still punishing yourself. And you still are. But it has to stop. We are more than this. We can be more. I love you. And it doesn’t matter what happened then. It doesn’t matter who my father thought I should be with, who your father thought you should be with. It doesn’t matter that my mother wants me to be Queen. I don’t care about being Queen. But I do care about being your wife. I love you, Alexius. King and man, it makes no difference to me, but you have to understand I would take you gladly without the title of King. But I could never take a king that wasn’t you. So in the end, it’s not all the same. It is the man that matters. For it is the man that makes a difference. It is the man I want. It is the man I need. And I don’t care that you think you were weak. I find you to be strong.”
“You don’t care about the truth? You don’t care about lies? That’s all this is. Pretty lies you’re telling yourself to make it all feel okay. Because you’re drunk on sex and desire, and you don’t understand the difference between that and love.”
“No. You don’t understand the difference between a curse and life. You don’t understand the difference between a king and a martyr. You want to blame yourself for all of this, and for the life of me I can’t understand why. Why is it so important to you that all of this is your fault?”
“Enough,” he said, his voice hard. “If you wish to be my Queen, come here and demonstrate your supplication.”
It was so clear what he was doing. What he had always done. This thing between them was so intense, so undeniable that he wanted distance. He’d done it by disapproving. He did it now with cruelty. But she could see him. She could see what he was doing. “Is that what you want? You want to degrade me?”
She took a step toward him, her heart thundering in her chest. “You can’t.”
He reached out and curved his hand around her throat, urging her toward him. The dominant hold sent a shock of desire, of excitement and trepidation through her. “I can degrade you. You have only seen a taste of my destruction, Tinley.”
“The only person you’re destroying is yourself. And you cannot degrade me if I choose everything that happens between us here.” She dropped to her knees. “It’s my choice. Does that make it degradation or worship?” She reached up, undoing his slacks, and freeing his manhood. She squeezed him tight, running her hand up and down his hard length. “Am I to feel degraded now?”
She looked up at him, at the torment on his face. “I think it’s you who feels shame. I don’t feel shame. I love you. And this thing between us could never feel wrong. Not to me.”
He reached out and wrapped his fingers around her hair. “What do you know? You’ve gone from hating me to wanting me to loving me in the space of weeks. How will it change, then, tomorrow?”
“It won’t.”
“It will,” he growled. “It will, because it inevitably does. I will fail you in some regard and lose your good favor. And once it’s gone, it will be gone forever. Mistakes change you. And they change how you are seen. No one loves unconditionally.”
“My feelings