that family portrait she had looked at when she had first arrived.
Her eye went right to Alexius.
And she didn’t feel lonely. She didn’t feel isolated.
No, he wasn’t quite where she wanted him to be. And she didn’t know how long it would take for him to get there.
But he was... He was hers.
And she had found a way to open herself up, join all of the pieces together. No longer compartmentalized.
He understood her. Understood the life she had here at the palace, and he had gotten to know the person that time spent in Boston at school had helped shape her into.
He understood about the charity, and he tolerated her animals.
He knew her in a way that nobody else ever had. Perhaps in a way no one else ever would.
And it made her chest burn bright.
She’d made a mistake. Going into the wood had been a mistake, but she had a feeling it was one she had to make.
Without knocking, she pushed open the door to his bedroom. And there he was, lying on the bed, that lounging predator. His eyes were sharp, hard. “What are you doing here, Tinley?”
“I think it’s past time we talked, don’t you?”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well, because. Because we ought to, don’t you think? About what happened.”
“I wasn’t confused about the incident that you might want to speak about.”
“Good,” she said. “I’m glad that you weren’t confused. Because it’s important. It’s important that we have this discussion. I... I’m very sorry. I didn’t think. I didn’t think, and I should have. It was so important to me to go get Algie that I didn’t think about my own safety. But I want you to know that I would’ve crashed in even if you were standing out there. You would have had to come after me either way.”
“I would have stopped you.”
“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact that I would have needed to go in after him.”
“I would’ve gone for you.”
“All right. But you can’t control me, Alex. I’m finding myself for the first time in my life, and I don’t want to be married to a man who wants to control my every breath. That’s a thing. I really don’t want a king. I want you. And I know that you think they’re one and the same, but they aren’t. I belong to you. But you do not rule me.”
“They’re the same.”
“They aren’t. Because a king is born ruling over a people, royalty is inevitable. But love? I give you that. Freely.”
“Love?” he asked, his voice deadly.
“Yes,” she said. “Love. I... I love you, Alexius.”
His eyes were flat, his chest pitching with the effort it took him to draw in breath. He looked angry. More than angry. He looked furious. This was the first time she had ever truly feared him.
“Love is not what a sane person would call this thing between us.”
“Perhaps I’m not sane, then. It wouldn’t surprise me overly much.”
“Love is a distraction. Love is a lie.”
“It feels very much like the truth to me.”
“Yes, it was the truth to you when you thought you loved Dionysus as well. When are you going to accept that your naivety makes you believe things that simply aren’t true?”
“You don’t get to tell me what it is I feel. You don’t get to tell me who I am or what I’m naïve about. I might have been wrong about Dionysus, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong about you. I’m not. I understand what this is between us. It’s real. You cannot tell me otherwise.”
“No,” he said. “I trust my head. I do not trust my heart.”
“Because of Lazarus? You were a boy, Alex, and you were forced to pay for sins that not even a man should have to pay for. Accidents happen.”
“One time is an accident,” he said. “Twice is not.”
“It isn’t the same. I understand why it feels that way, but it isn’t. It isn’t, and it never could be. Dionysus was responsible for his own actions, as a man. He might’ve been young, but he was still an adult man. What happened to Lazarus is a tragedy, what happened to Dionysus is... Idiocy. An idiocy that was not yours.”
“No,” he said, his voice harsh. “There is something you don’t know.”
“There’s nothing you could tell me that would make me change the way that I feel.”
“The night that Dionysus went into the wood I did not discourage him. In fact, I was glad of it.”
“What?”
“I knew he was going to