the gut. He jolts, and his fingers fly to that little silver piercing, pressing his thumb against it and making the younger man groan. “Are you going to kiss me? Fuck my mouth with your tongue? Or maybe with your dick?”
“Avery,” he hisses, and he drapes one leg over him, which is more frustrating than anything now because they need to be naked and they are not.
“Or I can always suck your cock?” Avery goes on, thrusting his hips up against Alejandro’s. “I can’t tell you how many times I jerked off thinking about dropping to my knees and taking you all the way into my throat.”
“You can’t,” he gasps, not able to finish the words, and he hopes to god Avery understands what he’s trying to say. He’s too far, but too close, and he feels like something’s about to give.
Avery isn’t deterred. He drags the tips of his fingers over the edge of Alejandro’s jaw then flops back and lays his wrists near his ears, plaint and begging to be pinned. Alejandro’s fingers clamp around them, feeling the delicate, fragile bones beneath his grip. Avery’s pulse pounds under his skin as Alejandro straddles him, and he can feel the way it jumps when he rocks against Avery’s needy dick.
“I want you to make me beg for it,” Avery says, and he thrusts upward. His dick has soaked the front of his sweats where they’re tented, and part of Alejandro wants to see if he can push him hard enough that he spills and makes an irreparable mess of them. “You haven’t touched me once. Not once, in an entire year.”
“I had no choice,” he gasps out as his balls go tight, and for a second, he thinks he’s about to lose it. Alejandro’s struggling to remember the importance of keeping his distance, struggling to remember why he can’t keep this forever.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Avery argues. “I know you want me, and I know that scares you. I can see it written all over your face. I know I’m good enough for you.”
Alejandro shakes his head, and he sees something crack in Avery’s gaze, so he leans in and he kisses him until his body sinks backward into the bed and he stops shaking with how tight he’s holding himself. “You’re more than good enough for me, Avery. You’re a better man that I ever will be. I will never deserve you.”
“I want you anyway,” Avery tells him. He frees one hand from Alejandro’s grip and presses it to his cheek. The touch sends fire coursing through him, threatening to turn him to ash, even as he nuzzles against it, wanting more, and more, and more. And Alejandro knows the true danger of giving in. The moment he said yes to that one kiss, he was incapable of saying no to the rest of it.
He keeps Avery pinned by one wrist then methodically strips him with a clumsy hand before tackling his own clothes. He likes that Avery doesn’t help, that he just lies there under the V of Alejandro’s thighs as he balances on his knees and works at the remaining buttons on his shirt. He flings it off, and it hits the floor somewhere by the bed. He can’t get the rest off without standing, and he immediately regrets the loss of touch, but it gives him an unobstructed view of the younger man, and he can’t tear his eyes away.
His beauty is somehow even more striking with him laid out like that—entirely bare, entirely vulnerable, flushed down to his feet. He’s not quite writhing, but he’s not still, and Alejandro allows himself a moment of fantasy where Avery is there stuffed full of a plug and waiting for him.
It’s been so long since he’s indulged in fantasy. Life might have been more bearable if he’d bothered with at least anonymous hook-ups, but he was never brave enough to face what that would do to him afterward. And, he thinks, it’s better this way. It’s better that Avery is his first after Connor because it feels like maybe waiting this long makes the moment worthy.
It allows Alejandro to be worthy of it.
Because it’s a gift.
“Please,” Avery begs, and that rips him from his thoughts.
He lays one knee on the bed then reaches for the lube and flips the cap with his thumb. Avery reacts to the sound like he’s been slapped—his head turning to the side, eyes squeezing shut. His legs part though, and he