a red-hot knife. “Right now, you can tell me…”
Avery’s resolve, his fear, his hesitance—it all snaps. He reaches up with both hands and curls one into Alejandro’s hair hard enough it probably hurts, and the other one fists his shirt, and he feels buttons actually pop.
“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think that word is going to come out of my mouth after all this time,” he breathes, his voice ragged. “So, for the love of God, you absolute bastard, kiss me.”
9
Breaking His Rules
And he does. God help him, but Alejandro does kiss Avery, because he’s so bloody overwhelmed by the fact that he’s touching him, that kissing just seems like the next logical step. And it’s both all wrong and all right because it’s not supposed to go this way. He knows Avery’s terrified that Alejandro is going to cancel their contract—and he should be.
Because he is.
At least, that was the plan. It was the plan when he got home from visiting Gabrielle’s grave with his parents, Connor, and Connor’s husband. It was the plan lying in the guest room that night with the orca clutched in his palm.
And it was the plan flying back on the plane, holding his breath and shoving back tears, knowing he was going to break Avery’s heart and hating himself for it.
But as Avery stands there across from Alejandro with fire in his eyes, shaking hands, and demands on his lips, Alejandro cracks in ways he hasn’t in far too many years. He’s never felt this way, not with anyone. Not before he met Connor—not during his marriage. And it doesn’t erase what was good before Avery had tumbled into his life, but it makes him realize that if he’s going to let go, he needs to have him first.
Just this once, he says to himself as he pulls Avery’s body close.
Just this once, he thinks as he shoves his bare hand up Avery’s shirt and finally—finally—touches skin.
He feels the warmth of him radiating up his arm and filling the empty space behind his ribs, and then he panics. What if this is it? What if this one moment of happiness and indulgence sets down a domino effect and it all gets worse?
But Avery’s voice rises above it and demands a kiss, and while Alejandro can’t shut it off, he can make it go quiet. Avery’s holding him by the hair, but Alejandro dislodges the grip before cradling Avery’s face between his palms like he’s wanted to do for twelve eternal months. Avery’s chest is heaving, and his cock is rock-hard and touching Alejandro’s hip. His lips are parted, and Alejandro catches a glimpse of the metal piercing and wonders what it will feel like dragging over his lips, or pushing inside of him.
Every ounce of his resolve has crumbled to dust. The space between them dissolves like it was never there in the first place, and the first taste is heaven. It’s ambrosia in the form of a wet tongue shoving into his mouth and taking control in ways that Alejandro has never let happen. It’s ecstasy in scrambling fingertips with sharp nails leaving lines as they drag up his arms and curl around the back of his neck.
His legs part, and his back hits the counter, and Avery slots between his thighs. It’s the most awkward angle, and he rectifies that by spinning them both and taking Avery by the hips, hauling his ass up onto the granite. Avery lets out a grunt—the noise more startled than anything, but before Alejandro can pull away and make sure he’s fine, the younger man drags him in close again.
“Don’t stop,” he begs. There’s desperation in his voice—fear that it’s all about to be ripped away, and Alejandro knows that’s entirely his fault. But he’s not about to offer this one thing and take it away from him. Not now. He’s held himself back for too long, and he never did mean to be cruel.
He just didn’t know how to make Avery understand it was for his own good. It’s too late for it now. It’s too late to walk it back, to protect him from what’s to come. Alejandro is willing to give this one thing, but he knows it can’t be more. This has to be enough for them both.
Leaning in, he stands a little shorter than Avery now, but it’s easy to rise onto his toes when he kisses the younger man again. It’s slower this time as he