is apologetic as he explains, and I begin to understand. The elves are such a proud race, so to have to accept the assistance of someone from a race he’s at war with would have been hard for him—only then to realise that person was his mate. It would have seemed like a slight from a god, having a permanent reminder of his failure.
“I let my guard down that night when Tor came back, and afterwards, when I realised how close I was to bonding with you without fully explaining what that meant, I felt like the worst being in existence.” Self-loathing and disgust make his voice harsh, and almost without realising it, I reach up and cradle his jaw in a mirror of his position, rubbing calming circles onto his cheek. I hate seeing this pain in his eyes. “Then, over the last few weeks, I’ve watched you grow and develop into this strong woman. Tonight just confirmed it, and I realised that even without the bond, I would want you. I’ve decided to stop fighting it.” His gaze is intense, his eyes locked on mine. His admission has my heart pounding in my chest, and the bond between us is practically humming in delight. His words should make me want to skip through the forest. He wants me. He wants me. A slave girl with mixed heritage, who doesn’t have a clue who she is or what she’s going to do with her life. He’s choosing to bind himself to me in an unbreakable bond. Then why is my heart sinking?
Because you’ll have to choose. Will he ever be okay with having to share you? My thoughts are somber, and my chest constricts tightly at the thought.
He’s still watching me closely, and something shifts in his eyes when I don’t react to his declaration. “If you still want me, that is.” He says it with a slight laugh and tries to joke, attempting to get a reaction from me, but I feel his hurt.
Knowing I can’t put it off any longer, I close my eyes and drop my hand to my side as I let my head fall forward so it’s resting against his chest, unable to look at him. “Vaeril…” My words trail off. I have no idea how I’m going to tell him about the others without sounding like a greedy whore.
Vaeril shifts his weight as the silence stretches between us. “I guess I deserve that with how I’ve treated you—”
“No! That’s not what I meant…” Cutting him off, I lift my head from his chest to look up at him. Although he tried to hide it, to brush it off, I could hear the pain in his voice. I cradle his face in my hands, holding his head in place so he has to look at me. The wariness in his countenance wounds me, and I know I have to be honest with him and not keep anything back. “I would be honoured to be your mate.” My voice breaks as I say it, and I’m unable to hide my smile at the thought, but it’s short lived as I think about what I’m going to say next. “But there’s something I need to tell you.”
His face doesn’t give much away as he digests what I said, wearing the blank mask the elves seem to favour. But I can feel him through our connection. With him being this close to me, it’s much easier for me to sense his emotions—frustration, jubilation, confusion, and finally, acceptance.
“The tribesman,” he says before I have the chance to explain. It’s not a question, and his voice is sure, like he’s known for a while. His tone is…neutral, like we’re discussing the weather and not the fact I have feelings for another. “Are you going to complete your bond?”
I’m amazing at how calmly he’s taking this information, but then Tor made himself clear that day in my room. He wouldn’t make me choose. “We haven’t discussed it yet, but…yes.” Taking a deep breath, I drop my hands from his face and clasp them together, feeling nauseous. “There’s more.” My voice is shaky. I have no idea how he’s going to take this information. Tor was a more obvious choice. He hasn’t exactly been subtle, but the only time Vaeril met Grayson was when the magician almost killed him in the underground forge back in Arhaven. Vaeril knows the story of how I became blessed, so he knows Grayson saved me