“Oh! I’m sorry, I should’ve waited outside…” My words trail off as I scramble back, my gaze getting caught on his body. I’ve never seen Grayson without a shirt on before. He always wore jackets or robes before, nothing that ever showed off his physique, and I’m suddenly reminded that the magicians are the humans’ soldiers. They have to be able to fight as well as wield magic. His body is toned, and while not as muscular as Tor’s or Eldrin’s, he could easily put most men to shame. His chest is mostly hairless, except for a small smattering across his pecs and a trail of dark hair from his belly button down, which disappears into a pair of loose bottoms.
“No, it’s fine, come in,” he says, as he guides me in with a hand on my shoulder. “Is everything okay?” he asks after a second, frowning slightly at my dumbstruck expression.
Pull yourself together, Clarissa, I chide myself. You’ve seen plenty of bare chests before. I brush a strand of hair behind my ear, needing something to do with my hands so I don’t do what my mind is begging me to do. “Yes, I’m fine,” I assure him, looking around the tent so I’m not just gaping at his bare chest, but since there isn’t much space, I end up looking at his bed. Flushing red, I quickly pull my gaze away as my cheeks heat and images of what we could be doing on that bed flash through my mind. What is wrong with me tonight? “I just needed to speak to you before you left.”
As if he knows what I’m thinking, a small smile plays on his lips. Crossing his arms over his chest, he nods as he waits for me to speak. “Okay, I’m listening.”
Suddenly feeling awkward, I realise I have nothing to say. Why is this so difficult now? Earlier, it felt like I needed him to breathe, and now I feel like a teenager trying to profess her love. Not like that’s what I’m trying to do… My stomach rolls. Taking a deep breath, I look over at Grayson, and his face softens, feeling my internal struggle. This is Grayson, things have never been difficult with him. Just talk to him, and if you can’t talk to him, show him. I’m not sure where the advice comes from, but it’s right. Taking a step forward, I close the distance between us. “Well, you seemed like you had something you wanted to say out there.”
He’s watching me closely, and slowly, he nods. “You’re right, I did.” My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest, but I don’t say anything, I don’t even move, not wanting to stop him. “None of this went as planned, Clarissa.” He chuckles, but it’s rueful, and I know he’s thinking about our encounter in the clearing. I was supposed to go back with him, he was going to rescue me, the damsel, but instead, I rescued myself.
He cups my cheeks again, just how he had earlier in the clearing. “I love you. That’s what I wanted to say.”
I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach, but at the same time, my heart feels like it wants to explode with happiness. It’s an odd combination, and one I’m not sure how to deal with. Feelings are one thing, bonding is another, but from what I’ve been told, you don’t have to love the person you’re bonded too. Love is another type of bond altogether, and one that is much more dangerous. I suppose if I’m completely honest with myself, I knew this was coming, I felt it, but the fact that he feels it towards me is what I find difficult to believe.
“When I heard what happened, I knew the king was behind it. I wanted to kill him then and there. I was so close. It was Wilson who talked me out of it,” Grayson confesses, and it takes me a few moments to realise that he’s talking about my escape from Arhaven. “When I learned the elf had taken you—” I give him a look and he quickly stops. “That you had left with the elf, it felt like part of my heart had been crushed, like I couldn’t breathe properly. I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t come sooner. If I never left in the first place, this might not have happened.” My heart aches for him.