silence again, and I shift from foot to foot. He fills me with conflicting emotions I don’t know how to deal with. Part of me wants to throw myself into his arms, inhale his masculine scent, and explore his skin to discover exactly how many tattoos his clothes hide. But the more sensible side is chiding me—I am in way over my head. Tor hasn’t kept his desires for me a secret, and I do feel pulled towards him, but then there’s Vaeril, who just dropped the bomb that we’re mates. And I don’t even know what to think of the connection I have with Grayson.
I miss him so much. I just hope he’s safe and his connection to me doesn’t put him in danger. Closing my eyes, I reach for the link between us, stroking it gently. Two of the glowing links within me are bright, practically humming, while the one that connects me to Grayson is dim, but it’s still strong, and a feeling of reassurance reaches me as I touch it. I would know if something awful happened to him, right?
A gentle cough has me opening my eyes. Tor is watching me with an expression I can’t decipher. “Tor, why are you here?” I finally ask the question that’s been bugging me since I saw him in my doorway.
“I told you already. I had to find you,” he repeats. He doesn’t step any closer, respecting the distance I’ve put between us, but I know he wants to, I can feel his need to be close to me.
“Why?”
“I think you know why.” He levels a look at me. “Don’t try and play dumb, Clarissa. We have the ematus,” he explains, reverting to his native tongue. Ematus. The word has power, and it rolls over me, my breath hitching as my wrist glows softly as if in confirmation. “I followed it to find you. When I first met you, it flared to life within me and I knew then.”
He pauses, and I can tell he’s trying to decide how much to tell me. I hold my breath, knowing what he’s going to say. I’m not sure I can deal with that knowledge right now, and he seems to sense it, shaking his head.
“I think I know some information about your past,” he tells me instead, and my eyes widen as I remember what I learned today.
“Vaeril thinks I’m part elf!” I blurt out, and his eyebrow rises in a questioning gesture. “They think they worked out who my grandfather was. The library here is huge, there is sure to be more information.” He appears shocked, and I can’t say I blame him. “Will you help me look for it?”
“Yes, of course,” he replies instantly, and looks like he wants to say something else, but after a second, he closes his mouth and shakes his head slightly, smiling at me. “It’s good to see you again, Clarissa.”
My chest warms at his sentiment, and I’m so conflicted that instead of returning the compliment, I ask questions. “What happens now?”
Rubbing a hand through his braids, he shrugs slightly. “I meet the queen, and then I’ll begin my duties.” His expression turns serious as he pins me with his dark eyes. “But there is more we need to talk about.”
“Why can’t you tell me now?” Anxiety floods my body at the prospect. If he tells me what I think he’s going to say, then I’m going to have to choose and I don’t want to do that. Not yet…even though I can’t seem to stop myself from prodding. Wouldn’t it be better just to get it over with quickly rather than drag it out? My heart thuds painfully in my chest even at the idea of it, but thankfully, he just shakes his head.
“Now isn’t the time, plus, the queen is expecting me,” he explains, and I nod in agreement, trying to keep the sympathetic expression off my face. Just because the queen and I don’t get on doesn’t mean Tor won’t. “I’ll see you soon, Clarissa,” he says with a smile, stepping forward and taking my face in his hands.
For a second, I think I was wrong, that he’s going to kiss me as his eyes drop to my lips. I can see the struggle in his gaze, but he lowers his lips to my forehead instead, kissing the skin there as he breathes in my scent. Without another word, he turns and leaves my room.
“Bye,” I call to the empty room