to tell. His name’s Joel, he’s amazing…” Finn’s throat seized up.
Levi’s mouth fell open. “Oh my God. Hoist the flags. Finn’s in love.” He tilted his head to one side. “And does Joel feel the same?”
“That’s the part I don’t know.” And the part that was killing him.
“Don’t you guys talk?” Levi snorted. “Stupid question. Of course you don’t. You’re guys. Heaven forbid you actually say how you feel.” Then he sighed. “As if I’m any better.” Before Finn could ask what he meant by that, Levi plowed ahead. “Have you talked to him? Or at least tried?”
“I wouldn’t know where to start.” Except he knew exactly what he wanted to say—the problem was, he was too scared of Joel’s response.
Levi leaned back in his chair. “Tell me about Joel.”
“He’s forty-two. He was married for twenty years—just divorced—and he’s got two great kids, Nate and Laura. Nate’s eighteen, Laura’s fifteen. He had a boyfriend back in his late teens and early twenties—a secret boyfriend—but then family pressure got too much, so he started dating girls. And now he’s single, out, and living for the first time as a gay man.” Finn swallowed. “Which is why I can’t tell him how I feel. He’s just discovering life—he won’t wanna be tied down.”
“What kind of a dad is he?”
Finn’s face grew warm. “He’s a great dad.”
“And all that time he was married… he didn’t cheat with guys?”
Finn shook his head. “He’s not like that.”
Levi stroked his beard. “Doesn’t sound like he’s the kind of guy who would go for a string of hookups either.” He raised his eyebrows again. “Dude, you need to tell him. I’m not suggesting you come out with ‘Hey, Joel, I wanna move in with ya and get married,’ okay? But at least let him know how you feel about him.”
“And if I do that…” Finn took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. “I don’t wanna be his transition guy, all right?”
“His what?”
“You know—the guy who shows him the ropes, the first guy he goes with—and then dumps when he feels ready for more. What if that’s all I am to him?”
Levi narrowed his gaze. “Do you feel like he’s the type of person who’d treat someone like that?” He gave Finn a thoughtful glance. “Is he the type to hang out in all the gay bars, and spend every waking minute on Grindr?”
Finn shook his head. “No.” That wasn’t Joel.
Levi balanced his elbows on the arms of his chair and laced his fingers. “Then maybe you need to stop playing the What-if game, and find out what he wants?” He bit his lip. “Because it sounds to me as though it’s time for That Conversation. You know the one. ‘What are we doing? Where are we going?’” He smiled. “But you can’t assume he’s some all-knowing, all-seeing guy who has the answers. This is something you’ll need to work out together.”
They both jumped when Grammy called out in a loud voice, “Oh Jeanie Crummel!”
Levi was on his feet in seconds. “You okay, Grammy?”
“I’m fine. Just dropped an egg on the floor, that’s all. I’ll be in with the cookies—that’s assumin’ I don’t drop them too. Dear Lord, I hate gettin’ old.”
Finn was trying not to laugh. “Jeanie Crummel? She still says that?”
Levi chuckled. “You know Grammy. That’s as close as she gets to swearing.” He sat once more. “She says her fingertips are drying out, she can’t grip anything anymore,” he said under his breath. Then he cleared his throat. “But enough about Grammy. Talk to Joel. Don’t put it off, because you know there will never be a perfect time. You just need to seize the moment.”
Finn had been thinking about that. “He’s invited me to dinner tomorrow night.” And what do they say? No time like the present?
Levi’s eyes sparkled. “That sounds like a God-given opportunity.” The door opened, and Grammy came into the room, carrying a tray.
Finn was at her side in a heartbeat. “Here, I’ll take that.” He took the tray from her and set it down on the table.
Grammy cackled. “What you really mean is, you want to drink your hot chocolate, not wear it.” She reached up and patted his cheek. “Some cunnin’.” Then she walked slowly from the room, closing the door behind her.
Finn gazed after her. “She looks a bit frailer than when I saw her last.”
“She had a rotten cold. She’s still getting over it. And don’t worry about Grammy. She’s as tough as an old