my Trig class brooding over what I hadn’t learned from Nell. So I knew she was miffed at Casey. That didn’t help with anything. What was interesting, I realized, was Nell’s reference to Marica. I knew she was thinking of Ms. Lacusta—there weren’t two of that name in a small town like King—but it was the context, the jealousy once again, that struck me. Michael had been right. It was Ms. Lacusta’s attention to me that had enraged Nell this morning, and in History she had been annoyed, remembering that Casey was chatting up the teacher.
I thought about Nell’s mother, deserting her young and vulnerable child. Maybe she hadn’t seen it as such, in the grip of her madness, but in effect, she had chosen her obsession with the married doctor over the needs of her small daughter. I had seen enough afternoon talk shows to recognize that Nell would still have abandonment issues. I wondered if those issues could have anything to do with her current relationship with Ms. Lacusta. And that relationship seriously creeped me out.
By the end of the day, Michael had determined that the scientifically real full moon was in fact on Friday night. That didn’t help us too much, since we still weren’t sure whether or not Nell would know that and my generic calendar showed three other possible dates when the moon would be considered full by us non-scientific folk.
Through deceptively casual questioning of Anne, Michael had also learned that Amber, Nell and company were all going to the dance together.
“So,” Michael announced to me on the way to school the next day, “this means that not only can we go to the dance, we must be there. We are morally obligated to attend, in order to protect Amber.” Whatever reservations or concerns Michael had had earlier, he seemed to be much more relaxed today.
I, on the other hand, was grumpy and frustrated. My listening the day before hadn’t netted us any more hints on exactly what Nell planned to do or when she planned to do it. I knew I would have to spend more time today trying to tune everyone else out while I tried to hear only Nell’s thoughts. I pushed out an aggravated sigh.
Michael shot me a sympathetic glance. “You do know, right, that if something happens and we can’t stop it, this doesn’t fall on your shoulders. Amber isn’t your responsibility—and neither is Nell, for that matter. If you didn’t have your—ability, your gift, we wouldn’t know anything about this.”
He wasn’t helping my state of mind. “But I do have the ability. I did hear what Nell’s planning. Like I said to you before, what if this is why I can do what I do? What if it’s not just a fluke, a weird anomaly in my brain? What if it’s got a purpose, and I’m supposed to use it to help people?”
Michael frowned. “You’re not a fluke, and you’re not weird. And I don’t know that you’re that far off in what you’re saying—aren’t we supposed to use all our gifts for the betterment of ourselves and others?”
I stared at him. “Well, that’s deep.”
He shrugged. “I do read, you know, even if I’m not quite up to your caliber of books.”
“So if you agree with me that I should be using my extra hearing to help other people, and I’ve heard—not by seeking it out, but just by accident—that someone is in very real danger, doesn’t that mean that Amber is my responsibility? And Nell… well, no one has taken responsibility for her for a long time, I think. That’s part of the problem.”
“But Nell has chosen this path. Which means that we’ll do our best to make sure no one gets hurt, but you are not going to beat yourself up about any of this.”
“Easier said than done,” I muttered as we pulled into the parking lot.
We were quiet as we walked into the school, each preoccupied with our own thoughts. I could feel Michael’s worry, and I understood it. But at the same time, I knew that I had to everything in my power to be prepared for what Nell was going to do.
We were at my locker, and Michael stood close to me as I exchanged books.
“So let me ask you something,” he said abruptly. Uncertainty wavered around him. “You said before, and then again just now, that maybe you have your abilities for a reason. We’ve never talked about why you can do what