or like I’m just giving you a line. If I were saying this ten years from now, it might seem reasonable. But right now, it sounds like a page from a bad romance novel.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Not that I’ve ever read a bad romance novel. Or any romance novel at all.”
“Of course not,” I murmured.
“When I saw you that first day-was it only three days ago? When I saw you then, you took my breath away. You—you’re so beautiful. And when I got to talk to you, I knew right away you were just as gorgeous on the inside, too. The real you, I mean. Who you are.”
I couldn’t reply, mostly because I had stopped breathing and my throat had closed. I was mortified to realize that tears were lurking at the back of my eyes. Michael’s words and the obviously deep feeling behind them stunned me.
“So… are you completely freaked out? Ready to take out a restraining order?” His words were light, but his eyes were worried.
I shook my head slowly, and I found somehow I could breathe again. “No, that never crossed my mind.” My thoughts were swirling, not making sense, and it was growing harder to keep Michael tuned out. I could feel his nervousness and his fear, but even stronger than that was his ringing sincerity. And then bits and pieces of real thoughts began to fly out at me. This is it, what she thinks and how she reacts, that’s all the matters. What if she doesn’t really… what if she can’t feel the same way or if she’s spooked by what I’m saying… I don’t know what I’ll do.
I closed my eyes abruptly and turned my head away, concentrating hard on not listening. After he had essentially bared his soul to me out loud, it seemed a petty intrusion to hear his thoughts.
At the same time, I knew I had to reassure him. Keeping my eyes closed, I murmured, “I’m sorry. When things get—intense, like this, it’s harder for me to respect the privacy of others. I’m just working on not hearing.”
My eyes flew open when I felt his hand against my face. His fingers firmly cupped my jaw and his thumb brushed one eyelid gently. “Don’t,” he said softly. “Don’t shut me out. I promise, there’s nothing I’m thinking that I don’t want you to know.”
Another first. Never in my life had anyone offered me an open pass to his mind. I expended so much energy and attention keeping up my mental wall that the idea of letting it down was a little daunting, even while it was freeing.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “You don’t know how much that means to me. But I won’t abuse your trust.”
“I know,” he smiled. “That’s part of the whole you being gorgeous on the inside, too. I have faith that even if you did hear something you weren’t meant to, you wouldn’t use it against me.”
I sighed. “That’s the one flaw in your line of reasoning. I don’t think you’re a stalker, I don’t think you’re just handing me a typical guy line. I believe that for some insane reason, you really do feel the way you just told me. But I still don’t get the why. I’m so not worth the trouble that comes as part of the package.”
“Well, there you’re wrong,” he said with absolute certainty in his voice. “About the trouble and the worth, I mean. The bigger issue is whether or not I’m worthy of you. That’s my real doubt. And since I’m not a mind reader—” he smiled slightly, “—I have no way of knowing your feelings on that.”
“You mean, unless I tell you.”
He nodded. “I’m not trying to force you into some big confession of—anything. I wanted you to know where I was coming from before we talked this afternoon. I have lots of questions for you, and I want you to feel comfortable with answering them, knowing how I feel about you.”
I wasn’t sure I could handle giving him a reply yet. What had I expected him to tell me today? His actions and words all week had pointed to the fact that he was interested in me. That was as far as I had been willing to take this in my mind, afraid that even considering anything more would hurt when it didn’t materialize. But what he had told me was completely beyond my hopes. He had trusted me enough to open himself up to