possible rejection or ridicule; although I was afraid I wore my feelings for him in plain sight, he seemed to be as unsure about me as I had been about him.
I took a deep breath and took the plunge before I could think myself out of it. “I have no idea why you feel for me what you do, because I’m nothing special. I have a special gift, or talent or whatever you want to call it, but you didn’t even know that at first. I believe you, I believe all you told me today, but I still don’t understand the whys.
“It’s incredible to me that you do—feel that way. It would be immensely flattering under any circumstances, but it’s more than that now. Because from what I’ve read or seen, this—” I pointed at Michael and then back at myself, “—rarely happens.” I swallowed hard before continuing, because tears were threatening again. The tender feelings rolling off Michael weren’t helping.
“What I am trying to say, and not very well, is that—one of the reasons I believe you is because—it’s how I feel, too.” For the first time since I began speaking, I looked up from the table and into Michael’s eyes. They shone at me with such depth of trust that I was momentarily lost. I struggled to continue.
“That first day, in the hall, I could hardly talk to you. But for me, that’s not unusual. I never talk to boys, and I don’t even have that many conversations with girls, either. When I saw you at lunch, I was grateful to you, but still pretty confused about why you bothered. And then after school that day, when you stopped me as I was leaving—it was like the sun broke across a gray sky.
I smiled, shaking my head. “I know. Lame, isn’t it? But it’s true. You think you’ve been waiting for me? My life has been…” I sucked in a breath as I considered my next words. “Empty. It’s been me and my parents, and my mom and dad have each other. I never had anyone to talk to about how I hate moving all the time, because it would make them feel guilty. I don’t talk much about my—what I can do, because I know it makes them crazy. They like to stick to the illusion that I can control this, that it’s not a big deal. Well, it is a big deal, and I’ve been very lonely.
“So even if you had turned out to be just a good friend, that would’ve been something. But I knew from that first afternoon, to me you were something more. I was smiling inside for the first time, maybe ever. And then when I blew my cover with you, and you didn’t freak out or tell anyone, that made it even better, because not only were you kind to me, now I could talk to you, really talk, and not hold anything back. And that is something I haven’t had with anyone outside of my family. Ever.”
This was a very long speech for me, and I ventured another look at Michael to make sure he wasn’t bored. His eyes were fastened on my face, and he seemed alert, so I continued.
“You said you knew. Well, maybe I wouldn’t have put it quite that way, but I think it’s the same thing. I… felt.” I laid a hand over my heart. “For the first time, I felt connected and—that I mattered to someone. I knew that I cared for you way too much, way too soon, but I couldn’t talk myself out of it.” I took another long breath. “So there you have it.”
Michael didn’t say anything. He reached across the table and took my hand from where it lay and twined his fingers through mine, then raised our joined hands together to his lips, brushing across my knuckles like a whisper. My heart skittered again, and this time I couldn’t blink back the tears that filled my eyes.
The bell rang shrilly, and we both jumped. We were the only ones left outside.
“We are so going to be late,” I moaned.
He grinned at me and jumped up, releasing my hand. “No, we’re not. I’ll take care of the trays. You go on to class. I have a sub for English today anyway.” He grabbed my arm as I turned to leave and brushed a hand over my hair.
“I’ll see you at your locker after school,” he reminded me. “Have a good