gap flood back in. As I take down my tight braid, loosening my hair with my fingers, I remember Sam’s text from the night before. The difference in our ages doesn’t have to matter to anyone but me and Gavin.
Except … my dad’s opinion of me does matter. And I can’t see him hopping on board with this. Me, getting involved with a guy who’s closer to Dad’s age, a man who has a daughter. A man who was my boss. Just considering the conversation with him makes me revert to feeling like a little girl.
I realize that the conversation has temporarily halted. Gavin is watching me finger comb my hair with heat in his eyes. Has he ever seen my hair down? Doubtful. Few people have. The last time I wore my hair loose around my shoulders, Abby told me it was like a solar eclipse and insisted on taking a dozen photos. Which promptly made me put it up in a ponytail.
Gavin’s eyes move fast over my hair, my shoulders, the slim view of my collarbone through the open top button of my blouse. They skim over my cheeks and lips, pausing there, and move up to my eyes.
I feel as though his gaze has marked me, like there is a visible path on my skin formed by his eyes. I’m glowing under his admiration. If I were a cat, I’d be purring and bumping my head into him, begging shamelessly for more.
All day long, I’ve longed for more of his touch. Ached for more kisses. But we’ve had Ella. Plus, his parents, Nancy, and Patty. There has been no time, and definitely no privacy. Not for kissing, and not for a conversation about what we’re doing, and where this can possibly go.
I need to tell Gavin that I’ve resigned from Morgan-Beckwith. I need to decide if I’m going to extend the contract and keep helping with Ella. Taking money for it seems wrong, especially because of what’s happening between Gavin and me. I don’t want to feel like there’s money hanging between us, even though I was the one who suggested it yesterday.
Was that only yesterday? It feels like a lifetime has passed.
My breath catches as Gavin continues to smolder at me. If looks could take action, this one he’s giving me would be a ravishing one. I’d like to do a lot more acting and a lot less looking.
“Should I give you two a minute?” Thayden asks, and the moment between me and Gavin shatters like glass.
Embarrassed, I pull my hair into a low, messy ponytail. We’re in his parents’ kitchen. With an audience. I take deep breaths, steadying myself.
“We probably should talk,” Gavin says to me in a low voice. “Later.”
“We should.” When I look up at him, I don’t like the way his gaze has moved from smoldering and ravishing to something altogether more businesslike.
Thayden clears his throat. “One thing that would help you with custody is stability.” Thayden’s eyes flick to me, then back to Gavin. “Like, a wife. Though I know you said you’d never want one of those again.”
His words are like a pulse bomb, leveling the room with an invisible current of awkward tension.
Gavin doesn’t want to get married again?
When Gavin says nothing, nothing at all, Thayden continues. “Are you still thinking about moving here and taking the ranch over from your parents in a few years?”
What?!
Gavin doesn’t want to get married, and he plans to take over this ranch? We need to talk way more than I realized. I can feel myself hardening back into the Zoey who keeps everything under tight control. I’m panicking, wondering if I’ve misread Gavin, if I know him at all. I keep my eyes fixed on Thayden’s hands, typing on his phone.
“I honestly don’t know,” Gavin says slowly.
“About marriage? Or about the ranch?”
My eyes are going to burn a hole right through the table. Inside my sneakers, I clench my toes until my feet cramp.
“I’m … not sure what I want,”
The words aren’t directed at me, but they land a blow just the same. Gavin doesn’t know if he wants to get married again. He doesn’t know if he wants to move here to take over the ranch. I can’t help but feel like he doesn’t know if he wants me.
It’s presumptuous to consider living here, since Gavin hasn’t asked and from the sound of it, may never ask, but I think about it all the same. Could I live on this ranch,