taken so long for me to meet you. I need you to know that.”
I hadn’t meant to get choked up saying the words but couldn’t help it. I’m not sure if Ella even noticed. She only nodded as I had worked to swallow down the lump in my throat.
“I know it’s probably a lot to leave and go to another place, but my parents have a pretty amazing ranch. It’s much better than … here.”
Here, where everything is designed for a man who planned to live alone for the rest of his life. Here, where the silence often threatens to swallow me whole.
“And your grandparents are thrilled to meet you.”
Thrilled was really an understatement. I’m pretty sure that people in China heard my mother’s shrieks when I called to explain the situation. She doesn’t care that Ella’s mother is Eleanor, a name that’s more like a curse word to my family. She doesn’t care that this is sudden. She doesn’t even care that I’m not one hundred percent positive that Ella is mine.
My mother is, finally, a grandmother. My brothers and I haven’t been adequately fulfilling our roles as baby-makers, a fact she laments every time I call home. I’m not sure if my younger brothers will want to give me an award for taking one for the team or will want to strangle me for caving and giving Mama what she’s had her heart set on since we were semi-responsible adults. Because I know that just one grandchild won’t be enough for her. She’ll be distracted by Ella and ease up, and then come back at us with double the force.
Mama is probably at the closest store right now, stocking up on whatever she thinks eight-year-old girls will like. Not that Ella is typical for her age. I suspect she isn’t, something that keeps concern humming like a gnat around my ear.
Where Mama had been beside herself with excitement, Ella’s response to my little speech had been to say, Okay, before pressing play on her tablet again. I had watched her for a moment, until I realized that I was probably being weird.
Loud pop music suddenly blares through the speakers, drawing me back into the present. I wince and adjust the volume to a non-ear-bleeding level with the controls on my steering wheel. I swear I catch Ella rolling her eyes. Zoey bites her lip to hold back a giggle, and I give her a mock glare in the mirror. Her grin grows, widening the crack down the center of my heart.
How did she do that? How did she get so close to Ella so quickly?
And why does it make her even more alluring to me?
“Which is your favorite album?” Zoey asks, clearly recognizing the song, which I am apparently not cool enough to know.
Ella answers immediately. “Speak Now.”
“Really? I might have thought Reputation or 1989.”
“I like the newer sound better but Speak Now just felt like a breakthrough for her. The songs suddenly became … more.”
“I know what you mean. ‘Dear John’? It’s epic,” Zoey says.
Ella wrinkles her little nose in distaste. “I don’t see what the big thing is with him anyway. Like, as a guy. Ew. But his guitar skills are amaze.”
Zoey chokes out a laugh. “I think that ew is the right word for him.”
I’m trying to follow along, but it’s like I’m eavesdropping on people speaking a foreign language. Never have I felt the age gap between us more, as I drive alone in the front seat, watching the two of them bend their heads together in the back. Then I hear the first vocals, and I recognize the unmistakable goaty bleating of Taylor Swift. I can’t suppress my groan.
“Not a fan?” Zoey asks, one eyebrow raised and her lips twitching in an amused grin.
“She’s … okay.”
I’m shocked when Ella’s small hand grasps the seat next to my shoulder as she leans up next to my seat. It’s the first time she’s made any kind of move to be closer to me, and I find myself holding my breath, afraid to scare her off.
“She’s a brilliant songwriter. Maybe the best in pop music today. You have to like her.”
Is this what being a dad means? Having to like Taylor Swift, or else?
“I agree, Gavin,” Zoey says, her tone playful. “You really should at least appreciate her.” I don’t have to look to see the smile in her voice.
I look anyway, just to see it. Her smiles have been so rare, like those kinds of