I have her talking to me, I want to remedy that ASAP.
Fact number one: She likes big, hairless dogs. Is that a thing? I’ll google it later.
Fact number two: She has a brother, a twin. He dated a girl with a purse dog and is two minutes younger.
Gavin: Was the purse dog the deal breaker?
Zoey: I’m not sure he even noticed the dog. That was a while ago. He’s dating my best friend now. Totally reformed. He was something of a player. Something we do NOT share in common.
My brows shoot up. Her brother and her best friend … That’s the kind of thing that could go really well or really badly.
When Eleanor and I divorced, I lost basically all the couple friends we had, even though she was the one who had been running around. I definitely didn’t miss them. But a best friend and a twin brother? And he was a player?
It eases a worry I didn’t know I had that Zoey is telling me she is not a player. The idea of her dating other guys makes my stomach roll.
Gavin: How is that for you? Having him date your best friend.
When she doesn’t reply right away, I have to wonder if that was too personal. All of this is more personal than we’ve been, so it feels like I’m already walking out on a thin branch, waiting for it to crack and send me crashing to the ground.
But then my phone buzzes in my hand.
Zoey: I’m so happy for them both.
She doesn’t have to type the but. I can read it in what she said and didn’t say.
Gavin: But what? You can tell me anything. No judgment in this space.
Zoey: Are you my priest now? Is this confession?
I chuckle, shaking my head at the idea.
Gavin: Definitely not. I considered it as a career choice, but the collars were too tight.
Gavin: Consider me a friend.
Gavin: For now.
Yep. I went there. And I don’t regret it. Not even a little bit. Instead, I wish I’d done this years ago.
I shouldn’t be thinking this way or acting on it while I’m still her boss. But I stuck a block of C-4 into Pandora’s box and all that remains is a little smoke and ash. These feelings are not going back in. We are not reverting back to just a boss and employee. Nope.
I’ve been single for so long, I stopped hoping for this. For a woman to get my heart rate up. For someone who made me feel more, want more. For the feeling of waiting by a phone for a call, a text, anything. I had forgotten the rush, the way a smile seems permanently fixed on my face.
I’ve been content for so long with so little, that even this friendly, not quite flirty, conversation has me all worked up and ready to trade in my monk status.
Zoey: They're just so HAPPY.
I frown, trying to read between the lines.
Gavin: And you … aren’t happy?
I’ve definitely overstepped now. But I don’t regret asking the question. If I’m going to do this thing, and this text conversation had ensured that I am, I’m going all in. I can talk purse dogs. I can talk hard feelings.
If Zoey wants to open up to me.
Zoey: I’m not sure. I’m happy about some things.
Gavin: But not relationships?
My heart is trying to climb out of my chest as I wait for the response.
Please say you don’t have a boyfriend. Please say you don’t have a boyfriend.
Zoey: They were my two best friends. Now they have each other. And I’m the third wheel.
She didn’t exactly answer the question. But wouldn’t it stand to reason that a boyfriend would keep her from being a third wheel? I’m going to go with yes.
No boyfriend. For now.
It’s strange though. Can the word boyfriend apply to someone who’s my age? That sounds so … immature. Whatever the label, I’ll take it.
Zoey: Like, tomorrow. It’s our birthday. We have this tradition, and it’s always been just the two of us.
Gavin: Let me guess—he invited her.
Zoey: Yep.
Gavin: And you don’t have someone to take?
Gavin: Like a boyfriend?
It’s not smooth. It’s clearly fishing. But I have to know, and I have to know NOW. Before I get too excited about what might simply be friendly texting.
Zoey: No boyfriend.
Zoey: I’m too busy at work. My boss is kind of demanding.
Heat rises in my chest as I stare down at her words. Zoey has no idea how demanding I’d like to be. With her. Not