because I was nervous about what she was going to say next or relieved at what she’d already said.
Mae was quiet for long enough that I had to look up from our hands to see her expression. She gently withdrew one of her hands and cupped the side of my face. “I will always want you.” She quieted again, but I could tell from her face that there was more she wanted to say, so I waited. Eventually she asked, “What was the head talking about, when it said you maimed and disfigured your own family? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I am curious.”
I sighed. She’d heard it all, everything the head said, including the stuff about my family. “When I was young, my family was brutal with my training, trying to get my magic up to the level they deemed appropriate for the Dorian name. After one particularly long week, I snapped and challenged my brother to a duel to prove that I was the better mage. As soon as it started, it became obvious that I’d bitten off more than I could chew. I got frustrated and threw a particularly nasty spell, but something went wrong and instead of just knocking Hugh down, it seemed to attack him and started consuming his flesh.
“Before my parents could stop it, Hugh’s ear was gone and the whole side of his face was ravaged. He still had skin, fortunately, but it scarred in a way that distorted his face permanently. Later, as though that wasn’t enough, when I came out as bisexual to my parents, they flipped out and told me I was a disgrace to the family name. They didn’t stop there though. My parents went on a tirade about how weak I was and how I destroyed the family years ago when I injured Hugh, and I just stood there and took it.
“I thought I was handling it well, but it turned out my anger was building out of my control, and when the dam finally burst, my fire rolled out of me in a wave. My parents knew the spell to deflect it, but my sister didn’t. The fire burned her legs and left her almost crippled. She has to use crutches to walk now, and it’s all my fault. I maimed her. I knew my parents would have kicked me out anyway, so I left that night and haven’t seen my family since.”
Silence fell like a hammer in the room when I finished speaking. Finally, Mae said, “They were accidents. You never intended to hurt your brother and sister, did you?”
I shook my head and pushed to my feet so I could pace. My emotions were all over the place, and I needed to reign them in.
“Even if you had hurt your siblings on purpose, I’d still want you, Alastair. You were a kid and, I’m assuming, a young adult. Emotions at that time in your life can make you want to combust, and for those of us with magic, it’s all too easy to do so. I can see how much you regret it and I know this is something that’s bothered you for a long time, but you don’t have to carry it around like an albatross around your neck,” Mae said gently.
I didn’t reply. Couldn’t. What did I do to deserve a woman that was so understanding, not to mention my best friends?
When I said nothing, Mae pushed to her feet and came over to stand in front of me, stopping my pacing. She placed her hands on my shoulders and said, “Why don’t we take a look at the skull while we wait for the food? It can’t hurt to see if we can decipher the markings, can it?”
Part of me didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see how we would have to sully our souls to stop this monster from taking over. We needed any advantage we could get though, and we needed it as soon as possible if we were going to get Grim out, so I just nodded.
We went over to the backpacks, and Mae pulled a couple pairs of latex gloves from the front pocket, tossing one pair at me before putting hers on. Once we were both gloved up, we started opening the bags and getting the parts of the skull out. The bone pieces were a deep cream color and had dirt embedded in all the scratches and crevices.
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