we walked hand in hand down the hall to his bedroom, I felt nerves in my belly for the first time in a long time. I knew he didn’t want anything to happen, and I certainly wasn’t going to push that boundary, but just cuddling with someone was often more intimate than the act of sex itself, at least to me.
We had so much to worry about that spending the night sleeping and cuddling seemed like a waste of time, but we wouldn’t be able to function without rest. I just had to hope that I could quiet my mind enough to actually sleep. Between finding the Horseman’s head, killing him, and saving Grim, I felt like I was being pulled in too many directions at once. The worst part?
I didn’t even know where to start looking for the head.
19
Ellis
I woke up the next morning feeling strangely happy, and I realized instantly it was because not only was Mae in my bed, but I was wrapped around her. It felt like I was sitting in front of a fire on a cold day, a beautiful woman wrapped in a warm blanket with me. As if the whole world outside of us didn’t exist, and for one minute, my heart seemed so…damned full.
Then the events from the day before rolled through my mind, and my entire body stiffened. I was so consumed by what had happened with my horn that I couldn’t think straight, but now, in this safe place with the storm raging outside, my mind seemed to clear. Shaving my horn had triggered me. It had brought me back to that scared boy in a cage who thought he would die, who saw other unicorns screaming as their pieces were harvested. The time spent in that cage had stayed with me my whole life, but I’d managed to push it away. Having Hunter shave my horn had brought all of that back.
I thought of Hunter. I thought of all I knew about his past. He had grown up so differently than I did. I had family and happiness before it was snatched away. But him? He’d grown up as a dark fae with a soul. Everyone around him did horrible things, and he’d died inside.
Mae had been right. He wasn’t angry with me. He was angry with himself. Suddenly, I couldn’t stand the thought of him torturing himself about something else, something that wasn’t his fault. I would have to talk to Alastair about what it meant to have part of my horn inside of him, but for now, I had to address Hunter.
My eyes opened, and I cautiously pulled my arm away from Mae. Looking down at her, my heart ached. She was so damned beautiful, her glorious red hair spread out around her and her face so gentle in sleep, but it was more than that. How was the legendary Bloody Mary the one person who could ease the pain inside of me?
I climbed out of bed and padded quietly across the hardwood floor. The sun had yet to rise, cloaking the entire house in shadows, but I made my way to Hunter’s room. Pushing open the door, I found him sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. Guilt ripped through me as he looked up. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was a mess. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers, but I could tell he hadn’t been sleeping.
“Ellis? Everything okay?” he whispered.
“No,” I told him.
Then, I walked across the room and lay down on the other side of the bed, my palms behind my head. After a minute, Hunter laid down next to me, but the tension that radiated from him was painful.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Don’t thank me for being like them…like the people who abused you.”
I looked over at him. “You’re one of my best friends. I would die for you. I would kill for you. Hell, I have killed for you. We’re okay.”
He looked at me, those eyes of his filled with pain. “We’re not.”
“Yeah, we are. Now go to sleep, you idiot. We have to save the world tomorrow.”
“How are you…how are you not going to hate me?”
I hated that he looked so damned serious when he asked the question.
Sighing, I dropped my unicorn attitude, which was hard to do. “What happened…it kicked in that PTSD shit of mine. But I spent the night with a beautiful woman, and I’m feeling better