to me, and my breath caught in my chest at the feel of his hand against my breast.
We were locked together, the music swirling around us into a tornado.
Kiss me, I screamed inside. Kiss me.
I tilted my head just the tiniest bit, until my lips barely brushed his. It wasn’t a kiss – in fact, it was far from it. I’d hardly even felt the soft pillows of his lips against mine before he pulled back, almost as if he’d been burned.
“Olivia…” Colt started, taking my hand off his chest and holding it in his. But I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to hear why he was wrong for me, why we couldn’t do this, why it was a bad idea. Because one of the things I’d learned over the years was that when someone had all kind of justifications and excuses for why they couldn’t do something, it was usually just window-dressing. Because the thing was, it usually just came down to one simple fact. People did what they wanted to do.
Colt didn’t want me.
The urge to cut welled inside of me again.
God, you are fucked up, Olivia. You’ve already destroyed your wrists, and now you want to hurt yourself move? Over what? Some asshole who doesn’t even want you? Haven’t you learned enough about investing your emotions in people who could care less about you?
I couldn’t take it.
I couldn’t take hearing his excuses. It hurt too much.
So even though it was petty and childish, I did the only thing I could think to do to make sure I didn’t have to.
I lashed out.
“Is our deal still on?” I asked, pulling my hand from his.
“What deal?”
“Declan,” I said. “If I come and work for you as your secretary, will you still help me find Declan?”
I was hoping my words would hurt him, was hoping they’d get some kind of reaction out of him, even if just for a second.
A vein in his neck throbbed and his jaw set into a hard line.
But then he shrugged, like Declan was an afterthought he’d forgotten about, and not the only reason I’d even agreed to this crazy plan in the first place.
“If you want.”
“I do.”
“Fine,” he said.
“How long will it take you to find him?” I asked, annoyed and frustrated by the fact that he was acting like he didn’t give a crap about me finding Declan, even though I’d told him Declan was the man I was going to marry.
He stared at me a long moment, but this time, I didn’t close my eyes. I kept my gaze on his. If he thought he was going to intimidate me, he was wrong. The song playing through the club switched, moving from a pounding bass line to something slower, softer, further serving to break the spell between us.
Colt turned away from me and began walking toward the door.
“Colt!” I yelled.
He turned around.
“How long?” I needed to know. These feelings I had inside of me, this pull I felt toward Colt even though I knew he was bad for me and could lead to nothing but devastating heartbreak, made it crucial that this little arrangement had a time limit. I couldn’t risk being around him for too long.
“I already found him,” Colt said, and then he turned and walked out the door.
“What?” I exclaimed. I rushed after him, chasing him down the hall. “What do you mean, you already found him?” I demanded.
“Just like I said, Princess,” he said, and I hated that he was calling me that, hated that he was back to acting cocky and like he was way too cool to care about anything.
He continued walking until he was almost back to the area that housed the main stage, then turned the corner. We were in the dressing room now, the room where I’d gotten ready earlier, where Jessa had helped me to put on my make up just a few hours before she’d sent me back to that bachelor party.
“You found him?” I breathed. “But how?”
“It wasn’t hard,” he said. “Anyone with an internet connection could have done it.”
Trepidation skittered up my spine – I had a feeling it was a lot more complicated than just having an internet connection.
But whatever.
Colt’s tactics weren’t important. What was important was that he knew where Declan was.
“So where is he?” I asked.
Colt shrugged. “He’s here. In the city.”
I let out the breath I was holding, almost giddy with relief. Declan was here! He was here, in the city. I