a tremble to her voice. “And don’t ever kiss me again.”
“There was a time when you didn’t mind either,” I counter, wounded, but I hide behind my wit.
“Well, that time is long gone. I need to go. Frank will be looking for me.”
She storms for the doorway, but I sidestep, blocking her exit. “Since when did you become so subservient?”
“Since the man I had feelings for pretty much threw those feelings back in my face as he was still in love with the woman he bought!” she exclaims, furious.
So she still believes I meant what I said? Yet she sacrificed herself for my freedom. However, when she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and the mammoth diamond on her left hand catches the light, I realize that maybe I’ve gotten this all wrong.
Maybe she did this for herself.
She doesn’t look to be here against her will. Nor does she appear wounded or scared.
A heavy feeling threatens to drag me under. Could it be Ella returned to the Macrillos because she wanted to?
Yes, her returning saved my life and the lives of so many, but what deal did she make for Santo to let her live? He was intent on making her pay, but here she is, looking radiant and weeks away from marrying a monster.
“I don’t understand,” I say, willing my heart to slow down.
“Don’t understand what?” There is a hardness to her, a cruelty which I forced her to become by trying to protect her.
“I never meant any of it, Ella. I was trying to protect you.”
“By kissing another woman!” she cries, shaking her head in disgust. “By wanting to become a better man for someone other than me! How is that trying to protect me?”
She’s referring to the conversation she overheard. It saddens me she could believe my lies so easily. She really doesn’t understand the extent of my feelings for her.
“I kissed Willow to make you leave,” I rebuke, angrily tugging at my hair. “It was the only way to keep you safe. Can’t you see that?”
“You made me feel worthless.”
“I had to,” I argue, words suddenly escaping me.
“You didn’t have to do anything,” she replies. “But that’s the thing about you, Alek. You do what you want, when you want, consequences be damned. I was just stupid to believe I ever meant anything to you.”
“You do, Ella, for Christ’s sake, you do! Stay with me and let me explain everything. I only organized this fucking party so I could see you. I needed to get you away from them.”
My argument suddenly falls flat as I expected our reunion to go differently than this. I didn’t expect her to look…happy. I thought I’d explain, and she’d understand why I did what I did. But it seems I know nothing at all.
“All of it was a lie,” I clarify. “I wanted you to go back to America and forget about me. I wanted you to live a normal, happy life, for what life could I have offered you? I didn’t know how to make you leave, so I hurt you, playing on your insecurities. I’m not proud of my choices, but I made them only because I wanted to keep you safe.
“I would have never given you over to Santo, never. This plan wasn’t foolproof, but it was the only way I could save everyone. I was planning on sacrificing myself by willingly siding with Raul to make amends for the error of my ways.
“And I was okay with dying as long as I knew you and the people I care about were safe. But then you did something beyond brave.”
“If what you say is true, then that was my choice to make, not yours,” she says, slapping over her heart. “I’m sure you trusted Willow enough to let her in on your plan. But with me, I’ll never compare to her because you see me as weak, as something you need to protect because I apparently need protecting!
“But who saved your ass, Alek? Was it Willow? Or was it me?”
Lowering my eyes, I nod, feeling utterly ashamed. She’s right. “In hindsight, I would have done things so differently. I see that now.”
“Well, that’s the thing about hindsight. It’s pretty fucking useless,” she snaps, pulling back her shoulders. “Because in hindsight, I should have never allowed myself to be used by you. Now move. Frank will be looking for me.”
“You’re still going back to him after everything I just told you?” I exclaim, incredulous. “I never