I couldn’t. I needed you. I still do. Every fucking moment of every single day. And my greed has now resulted in your suffering. Please let me make it right. What can I offer you? What can I give you to try to make amends for the pain I’ve caused? I’ll crawl on my hands and knees for the rest of my miserable existence, begging for your forgiveness. Just tell me what you want.”
I grip her fingers, begging she tell me what I can. Anything, it’s hers.
She wipes away her tears and leaves me speechless as she reaches for the lapels of my shirt and gently tugs me toward her. I’m still on my knees, but I peer up at her, pleading she put me out of my misery any way she deems fit.
I will accept whatever punishment she wishes to bestow on me. But what she says next is nothing short of a miracle.
“I want you,” she whispers. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You.”
Before I can speak, she bends down and presses her trembling lips to mine. I freeze, unsure what to do, but Ella leads the way when she coaxes me to open to her as she runs her tongue along the seam of my mouth.
We kiss slowly, like two lovers becoming reacquainted after years, after lifetimes apart, and I suppose in some sense, we have, in fact, been reborn.
She moans into my mouth, deepening the kiss when she adds a little tongue. I allow her to control me, unsure if this is too much, too fast after what she just confessed. But that thought is soon abolished when she slides a hand into the front of my shirt.
She runs her fingernails over my chest, backward and forward, over and over again. I want her so damn much, but I’m afraid I’ll do something wrong.
She senses my retreat and stops me from moving away when she clutches the hair at my nape. “I want it to be your touch I remember,” she whispers against my lips. “I want it to be your body inside me—always and forever.”
Groaning, I nibble her bottom lip. “Whatever you want, but we can wait. I’m worried—”
But she won’t hear of it. “No more waiting.”
She smashes her lips to mine, moving off the lounge and dropping to her knees before me so we’re on an equal playing field—which is what she’s always wanted. Our kisses are frantic, and when I cup her ass and draw her into my erection, her moans are music to my ears.
With desperate fingers, she unfastens the buttons on my shirt, almost tearing it off my torso as she disrobes me. Her touches are impatient, and when she strokes over my tattoo, I hum into her parted mouth.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes, very much,” she replies breathlessly.
It pleases me.
I need her in ways unimaginable, but when I rub over the front of her shorts, she cries out and recoils.
Instantly, I draw back, panicked as I cup both cheeks in my palms. “I’m so sorry. Forgive me.”
But she shakes her head, angered at herself. “No, it’s not you. It’s just…I can still feel him. Hear him,” she confesses in a whisper. “I want it to go away.”
It never will. It will lessen, but what happened to her will always remain. Suddenly, I’m struck with an idea—this will be uncharted waters for the both of us.
“Come,” I order, coming to a stand and offering her my hand.
She accepts without hesitation, following me as I lead her toward the bedroom. When we enter, I see she has changed the sheets on the bed, which pleases me. Letting her hand go, I walk over to my bag, which I haven’t even unpacked and grab what I need.
Turning to face Ella, she peers at the red tie in my hand. Looping it around my fist slowly, I tug it tight. She gasps, eyes wide with curiosity.
“Power was taken away from you. You lost control, so now, I offer it to you,” I reveal, extending out my hand, which holds the tie.
“I-I don’t understand,” she falters nervously.
“I surrender myself to you, Antonella Ricci. Do what you will. I am subservient…to you.”
Ella’s eyes widen in understanding. I am offering to switch roles—she can be the dominant while I submit. This is not in my nature, and I feel beyond uncomfortable when I’m not in control, but if this will help Ella associate feelings of control, instead of defeat, then I am her loyal servant.
She walks toward me while