numbers I don’t recognize, but I have some job interviews lined up, so I picked up just in case. This is nice, though. You called. How are ya?” She could hear the smile in his words and felt as if someone had dipped her in a tranquil stream and helped her float down it.
“I’m great. Did you enjoy the rest of your weekend?”
“Yeah, it was good.” She could hear Hiroshi Suzuki’s ‘Romance’ playing in the background, and damn near swooned. “I hung out with some friends of mine. You may have seen them at The Metric, actually. We got caught up, hadn’t seen a couple of them in a while and everything. It was nice. How about you?”
“Oh, let’s see. Well, on Saturday morning, I did some laundry, paying close attention to the holey socks that I refuse to throw away. Hail Mary, full of grace.” She heard a faint chuckle on the other end. “Seems a little sacrilegious to toss them out just because I abused them so badly that now my big toe plays peek-a-boo. Ran some errands in the afternoon. Grocery shopping – mainly searching for items no one wants so I can take them home, not want them either, push them to the back of my refrigerator and allow them to rot in peace. Thus, I’ll succeed in my master plan to lose ten pounds, but simultaneously, throw away hard earned money. Consequently, the scheme is flawed but I have no proclivity to alter it. I also argued with a cab driver who favored Fabio circa 1990, and almost ran over a sweet little old man who appeared confused and discombobulated as he walked amongst traffic.”
“I love that you love big words and know how to use them. That shit is kinda sexy.” He chuckled, making her smile.
“Big words are like swords. Unfortunately, I only challenge myself to a duel. No one else knows what the hell I’m talking about,” she stated dryly, and was met with a burst of laughter. “About the elderly man, though, once I got a better look at the old coot, I realized he looked suspiciously like the eighty-three-year-old bank robber that was on the news the other night. Regardless, that was my good deed for the day. Helping to extend the life of a man who was probably some gangster back in the 1940s with twenty bodies under his belt, then come out of retirement and aimed his rusty gun in some poor teller’s face, yelling, ‘Put ’em up. And make it snappy. Matlock is about to start and my sponge bath is in one hour.”
“You are really somethin’.” He cackled. “You’re sick. A little exhausting. High energy, but funny. Anything else happen over the weekend?”
“What else did I do?” She tapped her finger against her lower lip as she deliberated. “Oh, yes. Looked at shit I can’t afford, updated my devious plan for world domination. Oh, and the best part,” she held up her finger and grinned, “being a hater and a troll online, simply because I was bored and felt like it. Last night’s targets were beauty gurus from YouTube. I told one guy that his eyeshadow palette caused me to have an allergic reaction, which rendered me blind in one eye and able to see extraterrestrial beings with the other. So, yeah, you know, I did wonderful, productive things like that.” He chuckled even harder now. “Saturday night though was far more entertaining.”
“Oh, there’s more? You make me regret asking!”
“Of course there’s more. I’m a walking informercial. There’s always a ‘Wait! There’s more!’ when I’m around. I then went out with a girlfriend of mine for drinks Saturday night and on Sunday, I hung out in Central Park, solo. That’s one of my favorite things to do. Got some amazing Thai food afterwards. Did some yoga and a bit of window shopping. Walking. More walking. I was pretty much lowkey yesterday.” She rubbed her hand along her lower leg, massaging the ankle bone.
“Yeah… days like that are important, too. Taking it easy.” They were both quiet for a spell. “So, uh, I’m glad you called, Suri.”
“Mmm hmmm…” It was nice to be able to say whatever the hell she wanted without backlash. He took her rawness and sense of humor well. Kudos for the king.
“Would you like to get something to eat with me this upcoming weekend? Maybe go hear some live music, too?”
She shouldn’t have loved hearing his invitation so much.
“This weekend? Um, I can’t on