Gray’s midsection.
“I wanna shank your nightmares,” Jayden mumbled.
Oh hell. Gray ushered Jayden over to the nearest bed and picked him up to sit on his lap. “Do I wanna know how much you heard?”
“Some.” Jayden shrugged and glanced around them. “I’m on your lap. I’m a big boy, you know.”
Gray let out a soft laugh and slipped his hands under Jayden’s armpits. “Sorry. You can sit next—”
“No. Quit it.” Jayden went stiff and refused to move. “S’long as you know. I’m a big boy.”
“Of course.” Gray put on a serious expression. “You’re definitely a big boy.”
Jayden nodded firmly and smoothed down his pajama shirt that’d ridden up, revealing his belly. “Can you tell Jonas to be nicer in your dreams? My brother was awesome. Your dream-Jonas is not the same.”
“I know,” Gray murmured. “He was wonderful. I think I dream about him a lot because I wish I could’ve helped him better.”
Jayden knitted his brows and nodded slowly. “But you did your best. Can’t do no more than your best. That’s impossible, Gray.”
If only things were that easy.
“Kid’s right.”
Gray and Jayden looked up and found Darius watching them with his arms over his chest. The man needed to put on a shirt. Not that Gray minded having all that solidness, the ink, and even his scars on display. Darius was literally the most ruggedly beautiful man Gray had ever seen.
“I get that it’s easier said than done,” Darius went on, “but it’s a step in the right direction. When you have nightmares, you’re at war with yourself—not the other boys. It’s your guilt speaking.”
Gray was painfully aware.
Darius went over to the table and snatched up an army-green tee. “You gotta tell yourself—in the mirror if that’s what it takes, over and over—that you’ve done everything you can. You tried your hardest to save Jonas. You’re doing everything you can to save Jackie. You did what you could to be there for Milo.”
Gray didn’t wanna hear this, even though he knew he needed to. But he drew the line at involving Jayden any further, so he derailed it with a joke. “Did you pick up that pro-tip at therapy?”
Darius seemed to get it, thankfully. “I did. And did I follow the advice? Fuck no. But I’ve also told you not to do what I did. That’s why I still have a shit-ton of baggage to unpack.”
Gray couldn’t exactly argue. If he wanted to get better and reunite with his family, he had to do this properly.
“Can we get pancakes first?” He tested a smile.
“I think so,” Jayden interjected. “I’m starving.”
Darius chuckled. “Yeah, let’s go get some fuel.”
Nine
Two days later, Gray had discovered one thing.
Darius was the drill sergeant from hell.
The downstairs gym, which was more of a gigantic fitness studio, had everything. With the length of the area being at least fifty feet, it was long enough for suicide runs—Darius’s favorite form of punishment. That, and burpees. The ropes used in CrossFit could suck Gray’s dick too. He was fucking spent.
“I need a break.” Gray panted and collapsed on the rubber carpeting that covered about half of the studio. “Holy shit.” The sweat was pouring off him, and his tee that he’d discarded and used to wipe his face the past hour was out of reach.
Darius walked over and peered down at him. “When does the enemy attack?”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. If Gray heard another quote from Murphy’s Laws of Combat, he’d flip his fucking lid.
“When they’re ready,” he replied, breathing heavily.
Darius hitched a brow. “And?”
Dammit. “And when I’m not.”
“Exactly.” Darius pointed toward another corner of the studio, the one where they’d been practicing martial arts. “Let’s go.”
Gray grunted and jumped to his feet. “I checked out the laws online, by the way. I like the one that reads ‘Don’t go to bed with someone crazier than yourself.’”
Darius laughed and threw him a bottle of water. “I guess you’re fucked, then.”
Technically, no. The only times they were alone were when they worked out. Jayden was upstairs reading, which had been Darius’s task for him. A brilliant move, Gray had to admit. They’d picked up children’s books in town because, as Darius had said, the boy needed to get used to going to school. Reading and solving simple math problems was a great start. And Leah enjoyed watching him, not to mention spoiling him with homemade cookies.
Either way, no getting fucked on the horizon for Gray. Anytime soon, at least.
He wasn’t complaining, though. He felt better than he had in a long