was… Damn. He remembered the burlap sack over his head. Maybe he’d acted out. Said the wrong thing. It didn’t matter.
“I don’t need to process that as much, though,” Gray went on quietly. “Silent abuse is worse. It’s slow. It’s embedded in your core before you know it, and then it’s too late. At first, you don’t notice it. They ignore you, and you even prefer it because you don’t wanna talk to the motherfuckers. Then they start talking about you like you’re not there. You become an object.” Cargo. A shipment. “You lose your voice. Nothing you say matters. You don’t exist. You’re not worth anything. You’re alone.”
Hatred flared up within him, because it was those monsters’ fault that Gray couldn’t go home. The loneliness was still firmly embedded in his marrow. His family would never understand, and it shoved him outside in the cold. In that respect, Gray would forever be the outcast.
He shivered and glanced over his shoulder, then reached for the latch and closed the window. He was done with the cold. He wanted to feel warm.
Darius was perfect for that.
Gray slipped under the duvet and into Darius’s arms.
Darius didn’t question anything and merely lay down and got comfortable. He pressed a kiss to Gray’s hair.
“I don’t know how to talk to my mom and brothers,” Gray admitted softly. “I don’t know if I can sit down and have dinner with them and talk about the weather or the weekend’s game.”
“Because you’re not there yet,” Darius murmured. “Give it time.” He hugged Gray to him a little tighter. “For the record, I think you’re right about neglect and dehumanization.”
Gray hummed and drew his fingers slowly through Darius’s chest hair.
He yawned.
His mind had quieted down, at last.
“You should text your mother tomorrow, though,” Darius said through a yawn of his own. “Be honest with her. From what I’ve learned about her, she wants to be there for you the way you need her. She doesn’t strike me as a person to make this about herself.”
She definitely wasn’t. Gray was beyond lucky, which was why he felt so guilty. But Darius was right. Gray had to explain it to her.
Darius kissed the side of his head. “Baby steps, yeah?”
Gray nodded. “Baby steps.”
“I like this.” Darius touched his cheek. “It’s a good look.”
Gray raised a brow. What look? Toothpaste dribbling down his chin? He quirked a smile and bent over to rinse and wash his mouth. Then he straightened and grabbed a towel, wiping it over his face.
“What, specifically?”
“The stubble. You usually shave every day.”
Because Gray couldn’t grow a proper beard. The stubble looked all right, but if he kept going, he’d come off as a pubescent teenager trying to grow some fuzz.
“I’ll never be the hot mountain man you are, but…” He kissed Darius’s shoulder as he took his turn to brush his teeth.
“Mountain man,” Darius snorted in amusement.
Gray winked in the mirror before ducking out of the bathroom. He was in serious need of a shower, though that would have to wait until they got back from breakfast in town. Actually, with their plans and the showers being next to the gym in the main house’s basement, they’d probably work out first.
After putting on a pair of jeans, a tee, and a hoodie, Gray walked over to Jayden’s bed and gently smoothed back the boy’s wild hair. “Jayden? Time to wake up.”
Jayden grunted and threw an arm over his head.
Gray chuckled under his breath and decided to give him a few more minutes. In the meantime, he emptied his own duffel before he filled it with laundry. They’d bring it to the main house when they returned.
“We’re heading out for pancakes, buddy,” Gray said.
“Ohh,” Jayden whined. “I like pancakes.”
Gray grinned to himself. “I know you do.”
There was some huffing and puffing coming from Jayden’s corner. Then he pushed back the duvet and sat up, his hair a complete mess. But fuck if he wasn’t the cutest sight ever. Squinting and making a grumpy face, he was an old man in the making at the tender age of eight. Darius should be proud.
Jayden rubbed his eyes and yawned. He frowned hard and glanced around the room. Maybe he heard Darius in the bathroom. Next, his gaze landed on the other bed, and he scratched his shoulder.
Gray grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a sweater for Jayden. The boy needed a shower too.
Jayden crawled out of bed and stumbled over to Gray, and then he wrapped his arms around