I still worried each time that I would do something wrong. Her body was so tiny, so fragile, and it seemed like one wrong move could end in disaster. But everything went fine this time, just like it had every time before, and I tucked her to my chest, loving the way she fit so perfectly in my arms. Her whimpering settled, and I knew it would be naptime soon.
Steeling myself, I turned to my neighbor, unsure of what to prepare for. Why was he here? What could we possibly talk about? And fuck, why did he have to be so damn attractive? My stomach hadn’t been full of butterflies like this for years. I made for the front steps but stopped at the bottom, waiting.
To my surprise, the man seemed nervous. His foot was tapping, and he had his hands shoved in the front pockets of his very tight jeans. A t-shirt featuring tattoo-like flash art and the name “Get Ink’d” clung to a slim body that rippled with muscular potential. He was built like a flyweight boxer, lean and cut. Next to him, there was a small potted plant on the stoop that hadn’t been there when I left.
I forced myself to meet the eyes that had been, admittedly, haunting me since the night before. They were as gorgeous as I remembered. Better, even, in the full light of day. Hazel that leaned green and gold, sparkling and wary at the same time. A contradiction caught in irises, and I couldn’t look away.
As if ruffled by my staring, my neighbor took some deep breaths—multiple, his eyes shutting occasionally as if he were preparing a speech for the foreign press instead of addressing his neighbor. Finally, he said, “I’m Javi.”
His voice was deeper than I expected, and it hit me like a fist, causing my stomach to knot up and my chest to squeeze. It was a rumble of a voice, like water over gravel, and my body wanted nothing more than to sway toward it. It was only due to years of keeping my emotions in check around Kyle, with all of his volatile and passionate ways, that I managed to keep a straight face.
“I’m Gordon, but no one calls me that. I go by Gordo.”
Javi gave me a half smile, and it was enough to make my cock twitch, interested in a way it hasn’t been in… too long. Or not long enough. Be careful, I thought to myself.
“I w-wanted...to...say…,” he paused. He was speaking so slowly I felt my own nerves jangle for him. Was I making him that nervous? Because he definitely had me feeling shaky with things I couldn’t allow myself to feel. “S-sorry.”
The stutter barely registered, but something inside of me lurched with the need to reassure him, which seemed a little ridiculous. I wanted to reassure a tall, tattooed, sexy man while wearing a wrinkled tee that smelled like baby barf? But when he didn’t say anything else, I knew I had to jump in.
“About the parties?” I ventured a guess.
He nodded vigorously.
“You turned the music down when I asked, which is all I could hope for. Thanks for that. I’m sorry if I came off as a psycho. Too many days with basically no sleep will do that.”
Javi’s brief smile was like a ray of sun parting storm clouds. “S...s-sure.” As soon as he spoke, the smile turned into a frown that spoke of frustration. “I d...d-didn’t know. Ab-bout her.”
He looked pointedly at Giuliana, who was learning to chew on her fist.
“I stayed with my brother and his wife for the first few weeks after my daughter was born. I’m a first-time dad and needed all the help I could get.” It felt as if I was offering too much, but the chronic fatigue of the past few weeks had caught up with me. There wasn’t a fully functioning filter between my brain and my mouth. “We’ve been home for about a week, if that. The days kind of blend together right now.”
Javi’s thick brows knitted together, and I wondered if he was putting two and two together. Except my equation was three minus one, leaving me and my daughter.
“No more parties, then,” he said. “S-sorry.”
I wanted to cry from relief. That was one worry I could scratch off an ever-increasing list. “Thank you. That means a lot, Javi.”
I said his name as though we were friends, just to taste it on my tongue. I did it without thinking, but now