I just want to get away from him.
I don’t want to see that look on his face, the ‘suicidal watch’ look. I’m not suicidal, well, at least not today. I didn’t wake up screaming, a first since Nancy died. In a way that’s a step in the right direction so I refuse to think that it was because of Julian.
Just because he fucked me with his fingers, his tongue and his big, hard cock and made me come three times in less than ten minutes doesn’t mean he’s all magical and shit, able to fuck my nightmares away.
“This is stupid,” he growls behind me. I know he’s brooding but I can do that too, but my game? It’s the silent treatment so I don’t say anything. We go through customs, but my need for space away from him makes itself known. I need to get away from him somehow.
So, I tell him I’m going to the bathroom and he stops and leans against the wall to wait for me. I watch as he takes out his phone, then I make my move.
I dash into a store and quickly buy a pre-paid phone, an old one that doesn’t have any capabilities of internet surfing. Right now, that’s a fucking gift.
I pay and then switch it on, grateful that it’s got battery power. I dial Rye’s number that Nicky gave me, and she answers on the first ring. I guess she’s always with her phone, typical Rye.
“Hello?”
“Rye,” I say. and she squeals, making my ear hurt. “Hey, keep it down will you.”
“Ah shit, I forgot that you’re noise sensitive sometimes.”
Sometimes? What does that even mean? But I don’t ask that.
“Fuck, when was the last time you called me, Mia?” she squeals again, but a bit more civilized this time. “I’m so freaking glad that you’re here! Have you landed already?’
“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling,” I start, looking to see if Julian is still where I left him. He is, now on the phone, looking angry. “I just landed a few minutes ago.”
“Ah shit, I should’ve picked you up but with the final auditions tomorrow, it’s been crazy.”
“Final auditions?”
“Oh yeah,” she squeals again. “For Paris Opera Company, you know, the one where your mom made waves and left a legacy there?”
I know which one she’s gushing about simply because I’m the one who introduced her to them, after I made mom—I mean, Nancy, write her a letter of recommendation just for a few classes. It was also the school I’d been busting my ass to get into, just to keep my Nancy’s legacy alive. The school that I vowed to make her proud and now…
“Shit, if you hurry up, you can also do your thing for two minutes in front of the judges,” Rye gushes, all excited, cheerful and rosy while I stand there stiff, gloomy and dark.
“Rye, I don’t think…” but she cuts me off.
“Come on, let me text you the address to my townhouse apartment. We have a studio. The housekeeper, Anna, is there, she’ll let you in. I will ring her, and you can practice in the studio for tomorrow.”
“Rye.”
“Mia, please,” she says, now serious. “I know you’re in pain. I know you’re hurting and grieving but if you’re here, then I know you’re here for one thing.”
To dance.
“Yeah that was before,” I croak.
Before everything went to shit. Before I realized my life is a lie. Before I started going through all my memories, trying to figure out what Nicky meant about my father.
“I just…”
“Come on, Mia. Go to my house, we’ll go out and party after we both get accepted tomorrow. Actually, let’s make that tonight! We’re going out tonight!”
That’s the last thing I want to do right now, but I don’t say anything. I’ve never been a party pooper before, but I feel like with this darkening mood in me, I’m going to turn this city of love into a city of cold, devastation instead.
“Okay, even if I do agree, I don’t have my dance gear,” I murmur, wishing she would drop it. But Rye being Rye, she doesn’t.
“Girl, that’s not an issue. We can buy you a tutu for tomorrow but for now, my closet is full of new gear, shit I haven’t used before,” she gushes, then falls silent. “Unfortunately, I don’t have anything in black. I remember how you like everything to match your amazing hair, but still go help yourself,” she says and before I can say anything, the calls ends, leaving me confused.
But