things I just…
“Before I…”
How do I say it? How do I bleed out my heart with all of them watching?
“If you fucking want to fall apart, you do it in my fucking arms, Little Minx.”
A violent shudder goes through me just thinking of that moment with Julian.
“It was before I…” I croak.
“Stop,” Julian whispers, the chill in his voice sending shivers through my body. I look at him, our gazes clash and hold. Green to Blue.
Both confused.
Both dark with emotions we can’t even begin to comprehend.
Both full of desperation.
“Just stop, Mia.” The way my name rolls off his tongue is different though. Full of disappointment, a whole lot of anger, and even disgust.
“Please, Julian,” I whisper, begging with my eyes.
“Fuck, Mia,” he groans, running a hand through his hair, something I was doing a mere couple of hours ago. “What do you want from me?”
I want to go to him.
I want him to let me come to him.
I want him to hold me.
I want him to believe me.
“I just want you to talk to me and…”
“And say what?” He slams the glass on the counter of the bar then he walks to the door, his eyes now empty and dark. I can’t tell at all what he’s thinking. “There’s nothing to say. It’s clear. You were playing a game with my mind, my heart and all for this, Mia?’
“No, I wasn’t…”
“Fuck this and the throne of lies you fucking sit on!” Liam growls, eyeing me with a. death glare as he walks past me to get to his brother. “You don’t deserve my brother.”
No, I…
And with that, they give me one last look and walk out the door. When it closes, there’s a finality to the bang that rings through the room that I give in to the weakness in my knees and crumble to the floor, shudders going through my body.
I look up at Cole as tears run down my cheeks. “Please, you have to believe me. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I thought I was protecting him.”
He’s silent for a beat, then he too heads for the door, taking every drop of hope I’d had that he believed me with him. But before he walks through the door, he glances at me, a contemplative look on his face.
“You’re going to have to prove your case now, baby girl. Stand up for yourself.”
How do I do that?
I don’t know if that question is stamped on my forehead, but Cole tilts his head to the left. “Who claims to have a Sherlock Holmes IQ level? Who knows how to talk her way out of hell?”
I want to smile as the ghost of our conversation flitters in my mind, but I can’t. The reason I smile, the reason I exist at all, just walked out the door without a second glance at me.
“Mia, you know what to do,” he says softly and with that, he walks through the door and closes it softly behind him. But I still flinch.
At the loneliness that surrounds me.
At the thick, offending and loud silence that hovers in the room above me like a thunderous cloud ready to drench me.
At myself for not doing something about this when I saw it coming, because the truth is, I saw it coming.
I had this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that something bad was going to happen, but I ignored it. I could have protected Julian. So how do I do that now? How will I make this better because honestly, I don’t see a way out of something this mess.
My father set me up. He used me. Played me to get to Julian. And he won! He told me he would get his way, he warned me but I… I didn’t listen.
And now, I need to find a way to clean this mess up. So, I pick myself up and slip out of the house and run down the beach, using the paths I found before, then make my way to my old house.
It’s a long walk, but it’s amazing what pain can make you do, the barriers you can push until you get where you need to get.
When I reach the house, I’m out of breath, sweating but done crying.
I’d make a deal with the devil if it means saving Julian. So, I ring the bell of the house and wait.
The door opens with a flourish and there she stands. She’s not even surprised to see me. Her eyes bright, that cunning smile