only to see that she removed the ventilator. Her body is shaking slightly, the peace and tranquility that I walked in on now gone like it was never there.
Frozen in place, I look in her eyes and I see the warmth I’ve always known from her.
She looks at me, then at John, and I swear to God, her face brightens up like she just got a magical glow.
“Mia….” she croaks again, and I realize that her speech is even worse now and she’s straining herself to speak. “Co…mmme…he…re.”
“I think she needs some time with you,” John says, a sad smile on his face but he can’t look me in the eyes. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
If I need him? Is he out of his insane, sadistic mind?
I can’t even look at him as he passes me to leave, all I can do is just stare, unblinkingly, daring myself not to move because if I do… I have no idea what I’ll do.
My God, she looks horrible, like death warmed over.
I stand there, dead silent not knowing what to say.
John and Nancy?
What the hell is going on here?
Unease, distress, and betrayal grip me by the throat as I stare blankly at the woman I thought would be the most reliable out of the bunch, but this?
“What did you do?” I accuse, my voice a hot whisper as I stare at her pale, bony face, seeing her sunken eyes, death hovering over her, but I ignore that, too livid and in shock to stop being selfish and stupid.
Her hands start shaking, her gaze frantic as she looks at me and I know she can’t breathe properly, but I don’t care right now.
“Why was that man touching you like that?” I question, feeling sick to my stomach. “How long has this been going on?”
She doesn’t answer, of course she doesn’t. It took every ounce of her strength to say my name just now since she’s in the final stages of ALS.
Somewhere at the back of my mind I know that she’s not well, but rationality and compassion jumped out the window the moment I spoke to Courtney.
The machines in the room start beeping faster, but I’m too far gone, repeating the same questions to a dying woman.
Looking back to this moment, I should’ve paid attention to the change that was happening in front of me. I should’ve put my anger aside. I should’ve…
A thought enters my mind as I look down at her, ignoring the machines. “Did he force himself into your bed?”
Her eyes widen in horror and her body starts shaking even harder, but it makes sense. John Fitzgerald has been after destroying my family for years. Revenge in this family, I’ve learned, touches everyone. It’s profound and sinister. I mean look at me, I allowed Julian to use my body like his favorite disposable sex toy.
“Oh God, he got to you, didn’t he?” I choke the words out.
A sheen of sweat coats my body as I start to tremble. I look around, but the walls of the room are closing in on me, it feels like the ground below me is shaking, rumbling, and I can’t hold on any longer.
Like I’m having an out of body experience, I watch Nancy struggle in her bed. She starts gasping for breath, her eyes wild as they look to me, but I can’t react. It feels like I’m shutting down as everything floods back to me in clear precision.
John managed to fuck over Nathan in the most cruel way possible. Was that because of me or was there more going on? He got to him, destroyed his career and then, he got to Nicky under false pretenses of love and proposed to marry her but now this?
Possibilities and scenarios start playing out in my head as the woman I’ve recognized as my mother all my life struggles to catch a breath.
All I can think is, was this calamity all a part of John’s plan all along?
Did he plan for me to see him with Nancy like that?
Why is a grown man like him hurting me like this? Or is he doing it for his sons?
The level of cruelty in all this, Julian definitely has a part in this, doesn’t he? Because my God, if he wanted to break me like he said he would weeks ago, then he’s totally succeeded.
I think back to the way John welcomed us into his large mansion with what I now realize was a fake,