not going anywhere, and he adores the hell out of you.”
That’s true. Liam loves his big brother. He’s protective of him too and thinks that not many people actually have their back and for some insane reason, I want to be that person. I want to step up and be there for them because they’ve been there for me, stood up for me and protected me when no one else did.
“He loves you, Mia, and I know wherever Aiden is now, he’s looking down at you and loving you too.”
Jesus.
Shred me up, why don’t you. With Julian, it only ever takes a few words, a look and the right touch and I’m gone. But this, his raw, vulnerable side… God.
“It was right after the media shit storm that exposed Aiden to the world.”
The moment he mentions the media, my hearts starts pounding so fast, I can feel a headache coming on, but I force myself to stand there and listen. He grabs my hands and leads me to the bench.
He sits and pulls me down to straddle him to keep us connected, forcing me to bear the full weight of his pain.
“I know we haven’t really talked about this, but I swear I didn’t know who you were back then or what was happening with Aiden. You kissed me and…”
“Come on, Mia. Do you want me to tell this story or not?”
“Sorry.” I smile, then get comfortable on his lap. “Go on, good sir.”
“Thank you.” He plants a chaste kiss on my lips then sighs. “It was a few days after I met you, kissed you and then just as quickly started hating you for what you said to those journalists and how you outed my brother. For so long you were the object of my hate. When shit went wrong, I wanted to find you, make you suffer, then kiss you just to hurt you.”
I look down at my hands in his lap, the pain in his voice as clear as day.
He places two fingers at my chin and lifts my head up gently, but the storm in his eyes suggests otherwise. “You have to understand, baby. In my head, if I hadn’t talked to you, if I had warned you who I was and how the media is obsessed with my family, if only I hadn’t kissed you that day, you wouldn’t have ran off and opened your mouth to those assholes.”
Remorse and remembered pain slices me into millions of cuts that hurt way more than the healing cuts on my wrists and arms.
I open my mouth to say something but Julian places a finger over my lips, silencing me.
“That wasn’t your intention, I know that now. But back then, fuck, you made me so mad. Each time I thought about you, I’d get mad. I blamed you for everything and how shit went down with my parents and to add insult to injury after you ran off at the hospital, I found out that Aiden had acute leukemia. The doctors had said he had a few years left.”
“Oh God.”
“Yeah, it was messed up. Courtney claimed that she wanted a divorce. She was angry, hurt and devasted with the news about Aiden—or so it seemed at the time. I know better now of course, still, claimed that she wanted out.”
God knows if I ever get in a room alone with Courtney Fitzgerald, I’d put the Peaky fucking Blinders to shame with how I’d cut her up.
“So that day, she was packing to move out, throwing plates and shit at my dad’s head. They were shouting and arguing so hard and I was so fucking pissed off, blaming everything on you but I knew I couldn’t come deal with you. Not yet anyway. So, I went down to the gym at home to work out and block out the world.
“Meanwhile, Liam was with Aiden. With how big that damn mansion is, they still heard the shouting too and so Liam took Aiden by the hand and went around the house, looking for me.”
I hold my breath, listening.
“They wanted to get out of the house. We used to do that; just get in the car with Aiden and drive away for a few hours on the highway then come back. Or we could just sit at the beach for a while, watching the waves crash on shore, but that day, it was raining cats and dogs—which already is unusual for Cali.”
“Wait, I think I remember that day. The next day