expensive. Then dark trousers, a thick leather belt. By the time his checked shirt gives way to his handsome face, my knees are weak. I remind them to stay strong. We can do this.
Other than the weird garage-door reveal—I typically enter via the front door—nothing else seems out of place. His hair is fantastic as usual and, other than the dark hollows under his eyes suggesting he hasn’t slept much lately, he looks good.
“Boy, am I glad to see you.” He wastes no time coming to me, and my stupid heart, who really cannot take a hint, pounds mercilessly against the walls of my chest. I silently lecture her, a fruitless endeavor.
He takes my hand and pulls me through the garage, past a bench and his latest woodworking project, and finally into the house.
I gasp when I step into the kitchen. It’s so bright that for one terrifying second I think the house is on fire. Lit candles dot nearly every surface. There are vases of roses everywhere—red ones. Red rose petals litter the floor, the furniture. He takes my cell phone from my hand, places it on the coffee table, and continues to lead me through the house.
“What’s going on?” My voice echoes strangely in my own ears, as if I’m in another realm. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m still fast asleep on the couch not laughing at any of Joey’s one-liners.
“Donut?” Benji offers.
“Huh?”
He points out a plate on the kitchen counter holding what looks suspiciously like the brioche vanilla crème donuts we enjoyed in Florida.
“Are those…?”
“It wasn’t easy with short notice, but there they are.” He continues tugging me through the house. I quicken my steps to keep up. At the sliding door, he pauses and gestures for me to go out ahead of him.
There are floating candles and flower petals in the pool. The lights aren’t violet like before, but pink. My heart is doing cartwheels, but she’s been wrong a lot lately, so I’m hesitant to trust her.
“You said you weren’t okay.” My confusion gives way to denial. This can’t mean what I think it means.
“I’m not. At least not yet.” His palms bracket my hips as he stands behind me, his lips against my ear when he asks, “Do you want to swim?”
“It’s eleven o’clock,” I say numbly.
“It’s later than that. Do you?”
“I didn’t bring a bathing suit.” I study the sparkling surface of the pool, a lump in my throat forming. He wants to have sex again. That’s what this is about. I refuse to hope it’s more. If he asks me to resume our physical relationship after he’s romanced the hell out of his house, I’m not sure I have the strength to say no.
“No suits needed,” he rumbles into my ear. “In fact, I prefer you without.”
I turn to face him and see what, I’m not sure. Again I’m met with the sense I can’t trust myself. He tips his chin. “You first.”
“Benji…” I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m sure whatever it is will end badly for me. Say we do have sex—amazing, incredible, mind-blowing sex. Afterwards I’ll go home and then what? Die? That sounds about right.
I search my brain for remnants of the speech I halfway prepared to give him tomorrow. I need more time. I’m not ready.
“Okay, I’ll go first. But only because you’re forcing my hand. I wanted to save this for last.” He pulls his T-shirt over his head and tosses it onto one of the loungers next to the pool. Soft pink light glows warmly on his bare skin, shadowing the bumps of his ab muscles and the round firmness of his pecs. He’s beautiful. A golden god. And for a brief moment in time, I could touch him whenever I wanted.
It’s been a little over a week since I’ve seen his body, and already it feels like an eternity. I don’t mean to, but my eyes feast on his torso. Halfway through their exploration, they snag on something new. He notices me noticing. He doesn’t say a word.
“You have another tattoo.” The fresh ink, so recent his skin is red, surrounds the carpe diem tattoo.
“I was lost,” he says, his voice choked with an emotion I refuse to name. “Now I’m not. I have to cover it up before we get in the water, though. It’s still new.”
“It’s a compass,” I whisper, my hand going to the necklace draped at my throat. He touches the pendant before his glittering brown eyes hit mine.
“When