watched Smith struggle to become the man he was today. But I didn’t just learn to love him despite the beast inside him, I learned to love the beast, too.
“I kinda think you need to take your own advice,” Edward said meaningfully.
“I do now, huh?” I shifted, moving Penny onto my other shoulder.
“Stop beating yourself up. Stop punishing yourself. And stop punishing Smith.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with—”
“You’re punishing him for loving you,” Edward murmured. “I can see it. You’re hurting. You’re not yourself. I have faith that you’re going to find yourself again. So does Smith. That’s why he called me. He would do anything for you.
“He’s keeping secrets from me,” I told him.
“Word of advice? Just ask him about them,” Edward said. “Don’t make that mistake. And stop believing the lies your depression is telling you. You deserve love. You deserve magic. You deserve the happily-ever-after.”
I wanted that to be true more than anything. Maybe I couldn’t believe it now, but I was determined to find my way back to myself, to Smith, to Penny. Because I wanted my happily-ever-after, and I was ready to fight for it.
23
Smith
After another dinner, it was clear that Edward had been right about winning over Mrs. Winters. His praise of her roast chicken had actually made her blush, and he was either talking a good game about learning how to cook or he meant it. I couldn’t be sure which.
Since his arrival, the atmosphere in the house felt lighter. I couldn’t deny that he’d put everyone in a good mood, particularly my wife.
Part of me resented the easy banter he had with Belle. It felt like a lifetime since I’d heard her laugh. But that was only a small, petty piece of me. Honestly, I was relieved. Nora had left to spend Christmas with her family and would be gone for a few days, so I rose as Mrs. Winters came to clear the plates and announced my intention to go check on Penny.
Before I could step away from the table, Edward jumped up, glaring at Belle “Let me do it,” he said. "I haven’t gotten enough one-on-one time with the new girl in my life.”
“I’ve got it.” I waved off the offer. I’d asked him to come here to look after Belle, and he was doing an excellent job of it. I couldn’t expect him to fill in for the nanny, too.
But to my surprise, Belle piped up.
“I wouldn’t fight him on it,” she told me. “He thinks Penny hung the moon, and I’m pretty sure she thinks Uncle Edward is the moon.”
This wasn’t news to me. The two of them had spent the last couple of days popping about town, coming home with arms loaded with packages, and I hadn’t heard a whisper of trouble despite the fact that they took the baby almost every trip. Maybe Edward had a magic touch that extended not only to his best friend, but to our daughter, as well. I found myself grateful that he was here, even though Belle preferred his company to my own.
“Are you certain?” There had to be something a grown man wanted to do more than babysit.
Edward headed toward the door, pausing to clap one hand on my shoulder. He leaned closer, lowering his voice to a whisper, “I think you two could use some alone time.”
I wasn’t sure if it was a suggestion or a threat. Alone time with my wife sounded incredible. Too good to be true, really. Of course, it was just as likely that she wanted to have it out with me in private. I wasn’t certain that Edward was in the mood to fix many marital issues these days so it was hard to know.
He reached down and swiped the baby monitor from the table. “I’ve got this.” He waved it at us before heading out of the dining room towards the stairs.
After he’d gone, I stood, feeling foolish, as I waited for Belle to tell me what she expected. I had no idea when this had happened to us. It didn’t seem that long ago that we were going about our lives, colliding together with passion at night or whenever we found a spare second, and working together towards a shared vision of our future. Now, I found myself uncertain of what step to take. I didn’t want to scare her away. I didn’t want to hurt her more than she was already hurting. I couldn’t handle another moment