was hungry?
We bundled Penny into her pram outside the clinic, opting to walk a few blocks down to the pharmacy in the village.
A few eyes followed us as we entered. I couldn’t help thinking that the other patrons were whispering about us. They probably suspected I was the new owner of Thornham. A town as small as Briarshead needed all the gossip it could get. Then, I wondered with horror if Tomas had told everyone about my disastrous lunch date at his restaurant. But for some reason, I was sure he hadn’t. He didn’t seem like the type to engage in small-minded gossip. I paused at the counter and passed Dr. Stanton’s orders to the pharmacist there. She scanned them and nodded. “Give me a few minutes.”
“Do you have a loo?” I asked her.
She tipped her head towards the door near the back. In London, it would’ve been impossible to find a public restroom. I supposed one of the perks of living in a tiny village was that since everyone knew who you were, no one could refuse you the toilet.
I walked over to Nora, peeking in to find Penny sleeping in her pram. “I’m going to use the loo. Are you alright?”
“We’re fine. She’s sleeping like an angel.” She flashed me a bright smile, and I felt another prick of jealousy.
As I made my way to the loo, I found myself hoping that Dr. Stanton was right. I would take walks and medicine and do anything if it meant being able to look at Penny and not see my own failures. I took my time, relishing the few minutes of quiet. The pharmacy was small enough that I was certain I would hear Penny if she woke up. When I finally ducked out, the pharmacist called over. “I have them for you here.”
I paid for the prescriptions and a tin of tea with the herbs he’d recommended. Then I found Nora looking at the menial selection of paperback romances the shop stocked at the counter. She put Seducing the Sultan back on the shelf, grinning sheepishly. “Got everything?”
I clutched the bag, full of tablets and herbs and hope, then nodded. It had to work.
It had to.
Nora talked cheerfully on our way home, filling up the gaps of silence with mindless chatter about her holiday plans. My fingers clutched the wheel more tightly as she spoke of visiting family outside London over Christmas. We’d never discussed what would happen over the holidays. I hadn’t even been thinking about them, and now they were only a few weeks away. I shook my head, trying to rattle the days into place and realized with horror that I’d lost track of an entire week somehow. December had arrived and between Christmas photos, Bless news, and Nora coming to work, I’d lost track of time. Now Christmas was only ten days away, and I hadn’t bought a single present, sent cards, or considered whether we should stay here or return to London. The only reason we even had a tree up was thanks to Smith’s oversight.
“Are you going to be gone long?” I asked Nora in a tight voice. I was still adjusting to having her here. Now she was going to leave. A numb coldness spread through me at the thought of facing Christmas morning this year.
“A day or two,” she said, quickly adding, “unless you need me here. I don’t have to go.”
I wasn’t going to be the monster bitch boss that demanded her nanny work over the holidays, so I shook my head. “Just wondering. We’ll have family around, so I’m just thinking ahead.”
Nora had taken one of the two guest rooms, the one closest to Penny’s nursery, as her own. That only left one room for visitors. Not that I had invited anyone down to stay. Undoubtedly, they all had plans at this point. I hadn’t heard from any of them. Not even an invitation to join Clara and Alexander at Balmoral like we had done last year.
Last year? Christmas in Scotland seemed so very long ago. I’d been hoping to get pregnant then, filled with so much happiness over what the future held. It was hard to believe only a year ago I’d felt that way. It seemed like a distant memory now.
We pulled into Thornham’s circular drive and parked. Between all the baby items I’d insisted we bring after our last disastrous outing, my packages from the pharmacy, and the baby herself, both of us had our hands