would mean being able to help my brother a little with the restaurant if he needed it and to have something set aside for my parents in case of emergency.
It would also mean the financial freedom for me to be able to sustain myself while I got my career as an author kickstarted. I could focus on that full-time once this job was over, which was something I’d always wanted to do but never thought I’d be able to.
As I stared out at the incredible view beyond my window, listening to the ringing of the phone in my ear, I thought about what it might be like to be a full-time writer. To not have to worry about fitting it in between shifts at Rick’s and other odd jobs that kept the bills paid. The mere thought of it made my soul purr, but it was the cost of the purring that worried me.
If I stayed, would I be expected to put up with men like René on a regular basis? Worse than having to put up with them, did Jefferson expect me to let them touch me and play with me like I was some bought and paid for Barbie doll?
Because I was no Barbie and I was certainly not ever going to be bought and paid for like that. If that had been part of the terms I’d agreed to, then fine. It would’ve been part of the terms and I’d have had a choice about whether I agreed to it or not, but it hadn’t been and I wasn’t going to be forced into it without my consent and without ever having agreed to it.
Then there was Dane. My rock-solid supporter who’d gone out of his way for me at every turn. If I walked away from the contract, I also walked away from him. I didn’t know if that would be as easy to do at this point as I wanted to think it would be.
He believed in me and had faith in me even when I didn’t have it myself. It wasn’t even just about disappointing him, though. I didn’t want to disappoint him, but if that was what it took to remain true to myself, I’d have done it in a heartbeat.
The problem was that I didn’t know what it would take to stay true to myself. On the one hand, I was tired of the front and the constant worrying about whether I had been the right girl for this job. Being insecure wasn’t fun and it wasn’t really me.
In my day-to-day, I knew who I was and I was happy with that person. I was confident in that person’s abilities and I had a plan for her future. This new woman I was becoming, I wasn’t so sure of. Purely because it felt like I was way out of my depth, and while I was getting used to life outside of my comfort zone, it was called being outside of the comfort zone for a reason.
On the other hand, I welcomed the challenge and I really was enjoying all these new experiences. When I reached Rick’s voicemail again, I huffed out a breath of frustration and tossed my phone down on the overstuffed armchair next to the window.
A knock at my door startled me, but then my heart sank when I realized it could only be Dane. If he was here, that meant he’d finished speaking to Jefferson and would be delivering news of my fate.
In the end, none of my feelings about staying or going would even matter if the boss had decided that he was done with me. My feet felt like they were made out of lead as I walked over to the door.
After taking a deep, bracing breath, I opened it to face the music. Dane was still in his suit from dinner, but he’d rolled up his sleeves and had lost the jacket and tie. The top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned and his hair was slightly messy, his blue eyes dark with concern as they raked over me.
“Thank God you’re here,” he said, taking a step away from the door and dragging his hands over his face. “A part of me wondered if you’d come to get your stuff and took off afterward.”
“I’m thinking about it,” I said honestly, moving aside and motioning him in. “Today was just too much. I’m not sure I have more days like it in me.”
“Yes, you do,” he