cold as he stares down at me. I almost don’t recognise his man. “I’m afraid I can do exactly as I like.”
“What about last night? Before you freaked and threw me out? You felt it, I know you did. You still love me.”
His eyes narrow. “You seem to be under some misguided belief about my feelings for you. Let me make it clear.” He grabs my arms and pulls me in close, so close I can see the flecks of pale ice in his deep blue eyes. Despite the rage bubbling in me, I can’t help but remember how his bare skin felt against mine last night. Desire fissures through me at his nearness. “I may have had a moment of weakness. Believe me, that impulse is over.”
“No,” I shake my head. “You’re trying to dampen what you feel by marrying her. You’re trying to pretend you don’t care. But you do.”
His lip curls up. “You shattered my heart five years ago, Alena, you ripped my soul into pieces. Your suffering is all I care for.”
“Hurt me if you want to hurt me. Leave Emily out of it. She’s done nothing to you.”
His eyes drop to my lips. “I will hurt you. I will hurt you every time I kiss her. Every time I hold her close or whisper in her ear.” He pulls me flush against his hard body. His breath tickles my ear, making me shiver. “It’s your turn to go to bed every single night, your soul tearing to pieces as you imagine me fucking someone who isn’t you.”
His words hit me like bullets from a firing squad. Pain, unlike anything I thought I could feel, rips through me. I shove him back. He lets me go. His face blurs behind tears making him unrecognisable.
I want to hate him. I do. But I imagine Dimitri all those years ago suffering like I’m suffering now when I married someone else. Now I understand his madness. Now I understand his rage.
I turn and run.
46
____________
Alena
“Edgar,” I tumble into my husband’s bedroom. He’s standing at his window, staring out across the grey misty moors. “You can’t let this happen.”
He turns to look at me, his face twitching. “Let what happen?” he says slowly.
“You can’t let Dimitri marry Emily.”
Guilt flashes across his face, which he quickly covers up. “I’ve already given him my blessing.”
I can’t fucking believe this. “How? How could you give me to him last night then agree for him to marry Emily today?”
“I have no choice, Alena,” my husband says, his hands running through his hair. “Dimitri is saving my company, saving us. I have to give him what he wants.”
“Money isn’t worth losing your daughter to a monster.”
“You’ve never had to work for money,” he snaps, “you just spend it. You live comfortably under my roof, eating good food, wearing designer clothes. You don’t consider for a second what I must do to provide it for you. You have no idea what work is.”
His words are a slap in the face. I stumble back, more pieces tearing in strips off me. He’s right. It’s true. Dimitri took care of me when I was younger. Then I let my husband take care of me.
All the fingers I’ve been pointing outward begin to turn back in. This situation I’ve gotten into, I brought on myself. I’ve reached for the easy answer all this time, leaving myself dependent. I’m not free. I’m caged.
47
____________
Alena
My husband won’t stop this wedding. I must. I can’t let Dimitri ruin more lives than my own.
I tumble into Emily’s room, where she’s sitting behind her dressing table humming to herself and running a brush through her hair. She spins, rising to her feet like she’s a floating dandelion bloom, a huge grin spreading across her face. “Alena, isn’t it wonderful.”
“You can’t marry him,” I blurt out. Shit. My desperation is making me blunt. I had all these calm, sage words to say to her. They all flew out of my head the instant I saw her dreamy face.
The smile drops from her face as the happiness bleeds out from her. Her mouth parts. “I can’t believe you would say that to me.”
I ignore the guilt. Hurting her a little now is much better than sitting back and letting her go through with it. “I’m only saying it to stop you from making a mistake. You’ve only known him for four weeks, Em.”
She shakes her head as she begins to pace, her hands in fists by her side.