my wife and me stare back at me as I slowly close the door. Feeling the warmth and familiarity of the home I built with Kat makes the ache deep in my chest twist and turn to a sickening degree. She took down several of our photographs, leaving dark rectangles on the wall where they used to hang and the sunlight failed to lighten and fade the paint behind them.
The large clock on the back wall ticks loudly as I move through the place we made together. It’s nearly 3:00 a.m., but still, I make sure I wasn’t followed. With bated breath, I check the surveillance system … again.
The life I led destroyed the only thing I ever had that I wanted to keep. My marriage.
The knowledge pushes me forward, each step bringing me closer to her. Closer to the bed we once shared, and closer to her warmth under the covers. As I push the door open, my heart beats slowly. With every second that passes my skin burns hotter and the worry threatens to consume me.
But the sight of her steady breathing and the faint movements of her body as Kat stirs in her sleep put all my worries behind me. She’s safe, and that’s what matters.
Her eyes flutter open and I stand as still as possible, terrified she’ll see me, but she merely rolls over in bed, moaning slightly, pulling the thin white sheet with her.
The moonlight filters in through the curtains and leaves a trail of shadows that accentuate her curves as they fall across the bed. She’s still as gorgeous as ever. Even in her sleep with no makeup on and her bare skin kissed by the faint light of the early morning, she holds a beauty that, for me, surpasses all others.
How many nights have passed with me failing to see that? How much time have I wasted?
I can’t let a soul know I still love her. They’ll use her to get back at me.
My eyes widen and my grip tightens on the door as I hear my name slip through her lips. “Evan.” It sounded like a prayer, or maybe a plea. A soft moan escapes her as I take a hesitant step forward, wondering if she saw me or if I’m only with her in her dreams.
I start to question if she even said it, but then she says it again. The sweet sound of her soft cadence whispering my name is everything I need to keep going.
I swallow thickly, hating myself for what I’ve done and what I’ve put her through.
I dare to whisper the only thing that helps lure me to sleep at night, hoping it’ll soothe her too, “I’ll make it right, Kat. I promise, I’ll make it right.”
Chapter 21
Kat
My eyes pop open at the familiar creak from the stairs. My heart races faster and faster as I lie as still as I can, not daring to move a muscle. My body’s hot and the covers are making me even hotter, but I don’t move. I try not to even breathe as I wait for another sound. But nothing comes.
It’s just my nerves. Maybe a nightmare.
Slowly, my breath comes back, but I’m still too scared to move. Nearly paralyzed still, I blink away the sleep and tilt my head just enough to look at the clock on my nightstand. 04:14 AM stares back at me in bright red digital numbers.
The sounds of the city streets filter in and my quickened heartbeat fades. It was nothing, I whisper and reach for my glass of water, downing it then wishing there was more.
Get up.
I will my body to move. I wince and crack my back, letting my bare feet hit the cold hardwood floor. Sleeping alone has never been a favorite of mine. Until Evan, I spent years with poor sleep patterns, both in falling and staying asleep. Even more than that, I don’t like how Evan’s side of the bed doesn’t have the faint smell of him anymore. I can feel the solemn expression on my face as I glance at where he used to sleep, but it only pushes me to stand up straighter and wipe the sleep from my eyes.
The floor protests as I walk, and I let the feeling that someone was in here leave me. I have the security system … but I think I’d like a dog. A big dog.
The corners of my lips tip up into a smile as I walk down the stairs.
Pushing