exactly the opposite. Disgust doesn’t begin to cover it. All I can imagine is how that night would have played out had his mother not called him. If tragedy hadn’t stepped in to intervene. He fucked her, and then what? Was he going to bail on our date or was he still planning on seeing me?
I should be focused on the fact that he told me he needed an alibi. The fact that only weeks ago he was doing shit he knows is wrong and could send him to jail. But that’s the man he’s always been. I knew better than to turn a blind eye, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, isn’t it?
It’s an odd feeling, like waking up from a long and deep sleep or having a blindfold taken off after wearing it for days. Has it always been this way?
I knew what kind of life he was leading and the risks that came with it. I didn’t do a damn thing about it. I should be ashamed, mortified.
And yet all I can think about is him fucking her.
Not to mention how many times I’ve seen that woman at events and socialized with her. Not once did she make it seem like anything had happened between them. She comes off sweet and innocent. She’s slim like me, but taller and she prefers soft, muted colors. Samantha always has perfectly manicured, pale pink nails. She pretties herself up like a little doll, prim and proper. I never would have expected it. I remember how genuinely happy for me she seemed when she gushed over my engagement ring.
That fucking bitch.
The door to my office opens behind me, the telltale creak forcing my eyes to shoot open. They narrow as I see his reflection on the black computer screen. I don’t even know if the damn thing is on anymore or how long I’ve been sitting here. All I’ve done is stare at a worn spot on my desk and think about how he fucked her, even knowing he was going to see me only hours later.
What would have happened if his mother hadn’t chosen that moment to tell him to come home and that she wasn’t well? Maybe that would have been the night he chose to break it off with me. After all, every day with him was like ticking off a checkbox. I knew it wasn’t going to last. I was waiting for it to end.
Marie screwed me over by telling him.
“Kat.” Evan calls my name from behind me. Hearing his voice causes a shudder to run down my spine. It’s a slow one that sends a chill over my body.
“I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you.”
“Do I even know you?” Even as I whip around and sneer at him a sick voice in the back of my head answers me. Yes. Yes, you knew what you were doing. You knew the man you married.
“You’re the only one who does,” he answers, looking me in the eyes as his broad shoulders fill the doorframe to my office. “You know I love you.”
I scoff at him, choosing to ignore the truth and how much I blame myself.
Right now, it’s all on him. I didn’t cheat on him. I didn’t continue to live a lifestyle that was obviously going to tear us apart.
He did. And fuck him for that.
“I hate you right now.” The words slip out in a breath and he visibly flinches.
“You’re angry, and you have every right to be.”
“Angry doesn’t cut it!” I scream, my throat feeling raw as the salty tears burn my eyes. “I loved you. I would have done anything for you!” I grit out the words through my clenched teeth and try to grip the chair as I stand on shaky legs.
“I loved you so much. And this is how you treat our marriage. With lies and secrets and all this shit I don’t even know about.”
“I’m sorry I kept that from you, but that was it.” He says that was it as if it’s easily accepted. As if he’s never told a lie or done anything else that would ruin us.
“Liar! How many laws have you broken at work?” I let the words tumble from my mouth, all the rage coursing through my blood. “But you kept at it. You were never going to stop until something made you. You didn’t care about me or what it did to us!
“What kind of