baby to keep me busy.
I don’t even think he’ll bother with working on our relationship. He already said that he didn’t think we should keep going to counseling. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he’s daring me to leave him. So he’ll be free to trade me in for a newer model, someone to be the mother of his future children. I know he secretly blames me for not being able to give him all the props and accessories he needs to be the perfect partner at Treadwell & Sloane: wife, a towheaded toddler, a second baby on the way.
But something had attracted us together in the first place. Our curiosity, our hunger to explore the world. Sharing our ambitions and wanting to succeed in life. We used to talk for hours about our goals, our dreams. I miss that. Maybe I’m being too cynical. Maybe we could actually work it out. After all, we’d made it this far, even if it wasn’t perfect. We could have a second wind in our relationship—maybe our forties and fifties could be a new beginning, a new adventure, a new romance together. But he hit on Bex. Drunkenly, but still…who does that?
What was it that Adam had said at the beach? That his marriage was like being in one of those dreams where you can’t wake up but you want to.
Adam…I smile to myself, my eyelids heavy. My muscles relax and I fall deeper into the airplane seat. I reach into the pocket of my jacket to touch the shell he gave me, still gritty with sand. God, it would feel so good to fall asleep in his arms.
Chapter Twenty
Treasure Found
BEX
The car feels empty without Liv in the passenger seat beside me. The radio is off and my phone is plugged into the car charger. I take a deep breath and loudly exhale just to push away the silence. It’s back to reality. But with a twist. Because I have a date with Devon tonight. I smile to myself as I crack the driver’s side window to let in the outside world.
Liv’s “Yes Factor” mission was a whirlwind, but I have to hand it to her, she really pulled through in the end. I’ve always dreamed of Ed McMahon from Publishers Clearing House showing up at my door with an oversized cardboard check, but the unanticipated arrival of Devon was even better than a million dollars. Liv truly redeemed herself after all the dating blunders of this past week. I guess that horrible night at Glamour & State had the best payoff! Liv hacking my dating apps, the infantile guys, and the fight I had with her as a result; it all happened for a reason. I still can’t believe she ran into Chloe. Thank God for Liv and Chloe breaking the rules.
I just hope I was able to help Liv even a fraction of how much she’s helped me. The fact that I didn’t know the truth of her marriage says a lot about how much our relationship needed a pick-me-up. I know that Liv is one to shield and divert, but I see now that being a good friend means pushing past comfort zones, just like she did for me. Liv has always projected the “everything is great!” face to the world when inside she’s crumbling. She’s going home to a big mess of problems and questions, and she is going to have to make some decisions. I hope, for the sake of her happiness, that she does.
I should have picked up a new mascara when I was in the CVS with Liv. But seeing her scrounging around on the dusty floor, looking like a dandelion puff ball, really threw me for a loop. Now, as I comb through my clumpy lashes in preparation for another date, my nerves (and hand) are so jangly I’ve smeared mascara all over my lids. Deep breath. I haven’t had a real date in four years. Like, a man-picks-you-up-from-your-house-and-takes-you-somewhere kind of date.
Devon and I have been texting all day since our phone call yesterday evening. Just playful banter with an occasional sexy tone. He seems as excited as I am about this date and said he has something magical planned. I asked him to at least give me some indication of dress code. With my luck I’d be in jeans and a T-shirt and he’d have a reservation at Prado or something equally fancy. Or, I’d wear heels and we’d