been stuffed in a coat all day, I grabbed a shower.
Yes, I was doing everything in my power to delay the inevitable, but ten minutes before midnight, I'd finally run out of procrastination techniques. Pulling on a clean pair of jeans and a shirt that I could use for work tomorrow, I slipped out the back door, around to the side fence, into her back yard, and onto her porch. I paused for a moment at her back door, then realized that Seth was right. I owed it to Elena to stop avoiding her. I needed to just man up and explain that I was a piece of shit.
I entered the house as silently as possible. Everything was quiet, so I crept to Elena's bedroom and snuck in, easing the door shut behind me. As I got undressed, my heart was beating just a little too hard, and the thought of her kicking me out ran through my mind on repeat. But she'd said this was ok. She'd told us the back door was open. This was our agreement. So, once I was undressed, I lifted the covers and slid into bed beside the sleeping woman and curled up against her back.
She pulled in a breath as my movement woke her up. "Mm?" she mumbled as she rolled into me. Then, "You're as cold as ice!"
"Sorry," I breathed. "I had a shower and walked over. It's freezing out there."
"Oh." And she wrapped her hands around mine, snuggling even closer to share her body heat. "I didn't think you'd come."
Her voice was still blurry from sleep, but her eyes were open and shining at me in the darkness of her room. Gently, I stole one of my hands back and reached up to push her hair away from her face, watching as her lips curled in a sleepy little smile.
"I thought you'd be mad at me," I whispered.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because I'm a dumb guy who made decisions with his dick that weren't very respectful to women." I licked my lips, aware my mouth had suddenly gone dry. "Because you deserve someone better than me, but I don't want to ever hear you say it. Most of all, because I feel like I brought all of this crap down on you when making you our mate was supposed to fix everything."
"Oh, Trent," she breathed, pushing her head against my chest. "Do you always try to blame yourself for everything?"
I chuckled once, aware that Seth had called me on the same thing. "Usually."
"Mm." She pulled in a deep breath against my neck. "And I like your soap. Smells good."
"I don't think you're really awake," I told her.
She just shrugged. "I'm just glad you're here. I've missed you."
"Why?" I asked. "Pretty sure your bed hasn't been empty."
"It hasn't been," she agreed, "but I happen to like all five of you. You're the calm and sweet one. The man who tries to be responsible. The one who seems harmless on the outside, but I have a feeling that's not the whole story."
"Why do you say that?" I asked, letting my fingers run through her hair.
"Because you're a beta. According to my wolf lessons, that means you're a badass." A smile flickered across her lips. "A bouncer, Bridget said. My sweet, educated man can probably beat up every wolf in this community, I bet."
"Not Ian," I told her. "I wouldn't want to go against Lane as a wolf, although I could hold my own with him, but yeah. I learned how to take care of what I have to. What about you?"
She shook her head. "I learned how to smile, apologize, say yes ma'am and sir, and never make eye contact. I learned not to speak Spanish in public unless it was a Hispanic store. My talent, Trent, is being nice so that no one wants to make me fight, because I'm no good at it."
"I bet you could, though," I said. "I bet that if Karen went after Gabby, there is nothing in this world that would stop you from beating her ass into submission. You just need to find your own things that are worth fighting for."
"You are," she breathed, the words so soft they were barely audible.
And my heart hiccuped in my chest. For a moment, I was convinced I'd imagined that, but when I looked down, her eyes were turned up, waiting for mine. The honesty on her face was so beautiful, and that was the only thing that made my heart