I assured her. "Don't ever let anyone make you feel like that."
"Yeah, but look at us." She waved across the table, first at herself, then at me. "We're stuck. You're a young, attractive man who could have any woman he wants. I'm a divorced single mom who's a decade older than you. What's in this for you?"
"A beautiful woman who I love talking to," I answered before she could continue. "A friend. Someone who makes me happy."
"And men like sex," she whispered. "Women too, but be honest. How long before you're tired of me putting you off? Or Pax, or Lane - no, scratch that. Lane's exempt. But you know what I mean."
I chuckled at her correction, because so long as she was my mate, she was theirs too. "Well, I won't lie and say I enjoy spending so much time with my hand, but we agreed, and I'm not going back on that. I'm the one with the disease. You're the one giving me a chance."
"Ian," she huffed. "Stop trying to make me feel better, and please just talk to me about this? It's making me insane."
I reached for my glass, then took a sip. Just for good measure, I sucked back another, although it was closer to a gulp. "Ok," I relented.
Her eyes were locked on her plate. "The doctor said that condoms are mostly safe, right? So you guys think I'm just being stupid?"
"No," I assured her. "We've all talked, and we think you're being maternal. Protective. Our theory is that in three years, the situation will be different. Once Gabby is eighteen, she'll be able to stay with the pack, and you can take that one percent chance. Three years isn't that long."
"It's three years," she told me. "I got pissed at my husband for two without sex!"
"But the expectations were different."
She nodded. "But what if I changed my mind? What if we could figure out how to make a fallback plan for Gabby? What if condoms were enough? Or what if I wanted to become a wolf? I know I keep obsessing over this, but everyone just gives me empty platitudes, not real information!"
"Ok," I conceded. "If you became a wolf, it wouldn't solve the issues with Karen. She'd still be a better wolf. Yes, you'd be stronger than you are now, but not strong enough to hold your own against a natural-born. Not at first, and maybe not ever." Then I sighed. "And I want to have sex with you. Or anything you're comfortable with. I'm not opposed at all, but it's your call, and always will be. I screwed up bad enough that first time that I'm not about to make the same mistake again. Still, some things are safe. If we decide to start slow, I'm pretty sure no one will care." Then I smiled. "Oral sex? Hand jobs? Those are very low risk. Well, so long as it's us doing the oral sex."
"Or condoms," she reminded me.
I made a face. "A blow job with a condom isn't as great as you're thinking. Hand job actually feels better."
She just laughed, pressing one hand over her eyes. "I can't believe we're talking about this."
"We're adults," I reminded her. "It's fine. All I'm saying is that we're perfectly ok with the no exposure rule. We're ok if you want to move that to virtually no chance of exposure, such as letting us go down on you or using our hands. We're also ok with things being unequal, because we're the ones with the virus, not you."
"And condoms?" she asked.
"They're safe. They're recommended for preventing diseases. I've never heard of anyone who used them contracting this. Elena, the virus is very low in prevalence. That means exposure has to be intense or repeated. The only real exception to that is wolf bites, and only because of the depth. But I'm not pressuring you. There is still a chance, and you have no idea how much we respect your willingness to worry about Gabby first. It's why I want you to be my mate. It's what makes you the perfect Alpha Female."
"Really?" she asked.
I just nodded. "The best Alpha Mate is someone who gives of themselves to make sure others are looked after. I'll talk to my dad about legal options again, and see if he's come up with anything, but stop worrying. It's only three years."
She just licked at her lips. "Maybe we can move up to virtually no exposure?"
I had to fight not to