with his hands. Oh my God, he was doing corker rubbing.
I said, “You really are…” And I couldn’t think of a word bad enough.
Cain said, “Gorgeous? You love it.” And he went off, whistling up the hill into the dark moorlands.
Alex said, “What was all that about?”
I said, “I don’t know, he just picks on me. He’s an awful person.”
“Yeah, they’re complicated lads, those Hinchcliffs.”
“He’s got a dog called Dog. And he just comes and looms over me. Looming.”
“He probably likes you.”
What?
Alex said, “Boys are a lot more nervous than you think.”
Was he saying Cain was nervous?
I said, “He stubbed a cigarette out on the ‘Absolutely No Smoking’ sign. And he killed a fox. And was twirling it about.”
Alex was walking along, letting me get it out of my system.
I said, “And, he told Jack to come, and Vaisey really likes him and they were getting on, and then Cain just says ‘come’, and Jack goes like a little doggie. And now Vaisey is on the roof. It used to be Bob who was Mrs Rochester, and now there are two of them.”
Alex paused, but let the Mrs Rochester thing go, and said, “A lot of boys are very status conscious. And Cain has a lot of status, so Jack will want to be like him.”
I said, “Holy Mother of God, imagine WANTING to be like Cain.”
Alex said, “Do you fancy visiting the owlets? I was going out but it got cancelled.”
Wow.
Mr Darcy and me. Alone, looking at owlets.
I nodded, and tried a half-smile and hair shake.
It felt good.
We walked down to the barn, and then Alex told me that he’d been seeing a girl but that they had split up. I didn’t say ‘Good’, even though it made me feel really funny. I tried an understanding smile, but I didn’t know if he could see it, sideways on.
Anyway, he was only telling me stuff because it was like he was telling Ruby. He, along with everyone else on the planet, thinks I am ‘immature’.
Alex said, “Let’s check that Connie’s not around.”
He opened the barn door and it was all quiet. He shone his torch into the corner where the nest was, and suddenly there was Connie.
Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!! Connie must have been sitting on Tallulah and Ruby, having a snooze. Alright, my mother had a lot of faults but she doesn’t sit on me when I’m in bed.
Connie started screeching and flapping her enormous wings out. Alex was backing out of the barn. He whispered, “We’d better get out of here.”
We walked quickly down the pathway and I kept looking back, expecting to see a big shadow bearing down on us. It was so spooky. My heart was thumping.
Alex whispered, “Are you afraid of the dark?”
And as I said, “No,” he lifted up his arms and went, “WaaaaaaAAAAA!”
And I leapt on to his back. Once my heart had stopped racing, it was quite funny. I laughed and laughed. It was probably relief from not being pecked to death by owls.
He gave me a piggyback for a bit, and then I got down.
I looked up at him and he looked back at me. And just for a tiny heart-stopping moment, I thought he was about to kiss me.
But he ruffled my hair and said, “Let’s get you home, green-eyes.”
Doesn’t anyone besides the lunatic twins want to kiss me?
When I woke up on Saturday morning, I wrote in my performance art notebook a dream I had about Alex:
Alex came striding up to the Dobbin’s house, dressed in a white shirt and riding boots (and trousers).
He said he was going to take me out for a picnic on the moors.
I noticed my knees were at a normal height.
Lullah and Ruby the owlets came with us.
When we had our picnic, the owls had mouse sandwiches. We had pies.
Afterwards, the owlets had a little sleep and I was running across the moors, laughing with Alex.
I put my foot down a rabbit-hole and tripped over.
Alex picked me up and said, “You are so mature.”
I looked up at him and raised my bottom eyelids.
And he changed into Charlie.
And then, as I slowly blinked, he turned into Cain.
He was singing, “She’s got the corker-rubbing blues.”
When I went down to breakfast, Dibdobs was sitting at the kitchen table with the lunatic brothers. She said, “Say good morning to Tallulah, boys!”
Sam and Max looked at me, and they both smiled at the same time.
They’ve got part of a proper tooth each!
I said, “You’ve got teeth, boys!!!”
Max said,