head and open and shut its mouth.
“That’s very interesting.” The mummy nodded.
I said, “You’re very small for a mummy.” And the mummy started making muffled noises.
I said to it, “Well, there is no need for that kind of language. You are only letting yourself down, and ruining a lovely occasion.”
The mummy made muffled noises again.
I said, “Right, that does it!”
And I wrestled my own hand to the floor and fought with it for a bit.
Some people clapped at the end.
Vaisey and Jo and Honey and Flossie stared at me.
As we were going out, Blaise said to me, “What’s your name?”
I said, “Tallulah Casey.”
She said, “Watching you is like watching someone whose pants are on fire. Strangely fascinating, keep it up.”
I went home to write in my performance art notebook. Already some of the slate is coming off the cover.
Ms Fox said strangely fascinating. Is that good?
Make the bicycle ballet ‘strangely fascinating’.
I’ve sort of mapped it out now.
The girls sing the Sugar Plum Fairy song in chorus on bikes
at the back-It starts with swirling snow as they go to the Land of Sugar and Sweets. (Note for swirling snow: get a fan from Bob and lots of bits of paper.)
The chorus goes up and down the back of the stage on their bikes, first with legs out to the sides. (Will have to give big shove to get it across stage.)
Then one knee on the saddle.
Then both legs out at the back.
Then the Sugar Plum Fairy dance. I will be the Sugar Plum Fairy. (Costume note: get lots of sticks of rock from village store and net underskirt from Ruby’s ballet class.)
Could I get a unicycle from somewhere?
And dance with bike in centre of stage before I ride really fast off, and then come gliding back on when I have momentum. With no hands.
Eating rock?
We’ve rounded up five bikes from Ruby, although one is a bit small as she had it when she was six. Jo can have that one. And the rest are ones that have been left at The Blind Pig after people had The Blind Pig special ale (Ruby says).
We’ve got the music. And most of the costumes, and we’re rehearsing every day at the back of college. I popped round to see the Rubster (and Matilda) on the way home, to see if the owlets were hatched yet and if Alex was about.
Ruby was eating an apple on the wall and she said she’d had a scientific idea.
“Dad is redecorating the downstairs ladies’ loos, we could do your corker outline there. You know, a sideways outline. And see the difference the next time you are up here.”
I said sadly, “Rubes, I don’t think there is much chance of me being here next year. We’ve got our halfway assessments this week.”
Matilda was hurling herself at my legs. She loves me. And goes mad with excitement every time she sees me. Ruby said, “Tha must smell like a doggie treat.”
I said, casually, “Is Alex about?”
And Ruby tutted.
On Thursday, we were just going to check that the bicycles were oiled when I saw Alex in the corridor, talking to Lavinia.
I wished I had got my Barely Pink lipstick on to make me seem a bit more grown up.
They looked like they were sharing a private joke, and Lavinia was grinning like a beaver.
As we passed them I was pretending to find something in my tote bag, but Lav spotted me and said, “Hellooo, little Oirish, how’s the crack? I’m railly looking forward to your piece in the performance lunchtime. What is it called?”
Damn.
“Um, well, ah…”
She and Alex were looking at me.
“It’s called…Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey,” I said wildly.
Alex had a slight grin on his face. He said, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that’s got a nice ring to it.”
Lavinia smiled.
I smiled back.
But I didn’t really mean it, to be honest.
And also she was the only person who called me ‘little’ anything. I’ve never been called ‘little’, even when I was little. Which was never.
Alex then said something which made my bottom quake a lot. “Look forward to seeing it, I’ll be there at the performance lunchtime.”
No!
Out in the bike shed, as we were oiling away, I said to the girls, “I can’t do this!”
None of them said anything, they just went on oiling.
I said, “I want to stay on at Dother Hall, but I can’t let Alex see my knees.”
Flossie said, “You’ve got to do something, Lullah.”
I said wildly, “I could do my Egyptian mummy thing!”
The