at him. I don’t understand any of this. How could this happen? Yeah, I know how, but finding all this out now, I just can’t comprehend it.
My oldest brother looks like he’s aged a decade when he sits on the edge of the coffee table in front of us, meeting first Ryker’s eyes, then mine. “This is something we need to handle. The girl--”
“Marie.” I hate that he’s referring to her that way. It makes it seem like she’s less than a person, like he’s trying to keep the situation impersonal when it’s as personal as it can get. She’s our sister, whether we like it or not.
He nods. “Marie, she’s just as much of a victim as we are in this. She didn’t ask to be born, and we can’t hold it against her.”
He’s right, and when Ryker nods in agreement, I try to break the tension in the room by punching Ryker in the shoulder and forcing a chuckle. “Hey, you know what I just thought about?” They both turn to me, and I explain. “Maybe Dad is the reason you met Ava. If you hadn’t met her, we would have to search for Marie. Ava coming along when she did, being friends with her? That can’t just be a crazy coincidence.”
My words have the opposite effect. Ryker jumps up, rubbing his hands on the sides of his pants as if he’s nervous. His eyes dart around the room, but he doesn’t look at us when he says, “I have to go.”
Reed yells after him, but he’s moving so fast the door shuts before he finishes saying his name. His attention turns to me, and with a sigh, he tells me, “He just found out Ava’s pregnant.”
Pregnant? My mouth falls open in shock, and all I can do is stare at him. Soon, both of my brother’s will have children, will have women who love them. They’ll be happy in their own little lives, and where will that leave me? When we were kids, everyone always thought the two of them were twins, and now I have an extra sibling to compete with.
I’ve been the third wheel my entire life, and now? Now I’ll be the fifth wheel...hell, I’ll be the seventh wheel if you count their kids. Once we add Marie to it, it will only get worse. I feel like I’ll always be the odd man out.
I shouldn’t be jealous, I know that, but I am. I’m so fucking jealous, and the first thought I have about all of this that I want what they have. I want the wife, the kids, the fucking happy-go-lucky life.
I want it all, just so maybe... maybe I can finally compete with them.
Reed’s hand on my shoulder brings my attention back to right here and now, and when I meet his eyes, the sympathy in them is too much for me to bear. He has no idea what it’s like for me, and I’m not about to try and explain it to him either.
Moving out from under his grip, I look away, my eyes focusing on anything in the room but my oldest brother. “I should probably go.”
“You don’t have to,” Reed starts.
I shake my head, knowing if I stay, I’ll end up spilling everything, and no one needs that. “No, seriously. It’s cool. I have some shit I need to take care of.” I start making my way to the door, and when I finally reach it, I’ve composed myself enough to meet his concerned eyes. I lift my gaze and say, “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
As much as I know he wants to object, he doesn’t. His eyes watch me as I leave, and I swear I can still feel them on me when I get into my car.
I have no idea where I’m going when I start my car, and hit the gas driving wherever life takes me, but I’m not even a mile from his house when I see the sign for a shitty looking bar. The sign outside is flickering, but it doesn’t keep me from seeing the name. Abe’s. Looks like as good a place as any to get shit-faced and forget all my problems for a little while. It seems to have worked for Ryker and Reed, hopefully it’ll work for me too.
After a five-minute search for a parking spot, I push open the door and walk inside. My feet make a disgusting sucking noise with each step, and I start to