voice is deadly calm, and I’m hurt more than I ever have been before.
“Yes. I swear, Ryker, I was going to tell you. I just wanted you to want me for me first. I swear…” Ava’s voice is frantic, but I shake my head, unable to believe her, dropping the fucking book to the floor like it’s fire in my hands.
“You wanted me to want you for you?” I laugh, but it’s humorless. “I’ve wanted you since the first fucking day we met in that bar. A baby wouldn’t have changed that.” I’m furious, unable to stop my anger and disappointment rushing to the surface.
“It would have, Ryker, and I wanted things to be right when you found out. I wanted to tell you.” She pleads with me to understand, but I can’t. I can’t do this with her right now. I feel betrayed, lost, and all because the one person I want more than air itself doesn’t trust me enough to want her without a baby attached to us.
“I can’t do this right now. I’m so angry, so disappointed, and just fucking pissed.” I clench my fists, wanting to punch something, watching as the tears slip from her eyes and down her cheeks.
“Ryker.” There’s so much anguish in her voice as she says my name that it rips me apart to turn around and walk away from her, but I have to. Knowing she kept this a secret from me is shredding my heart. I’m bleeding on the floor in front of her, and I don’t even know why it hurts so much.
“Ryker, please, don’t leave. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” She’s sobbing now, and even though I want to go to her and comfort her, I don’t.
Instead, I walk to the door, open it, and walk out of the apartment before I do something stupid. Before I say something I don’t mean and can’t take back.
Ava means everything to me, but it fucking kills me that she didn’t trust me enough to tell me she was having my baby.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ava
My heart sinks into my stomach and I fall to the floor, my body giving out on me as I watch the man I love leave my apartment. The tears fall from my eyes as every horrible thought known to mankind invades me.
Does this mean he’s done with me? That he doesn’t want me or the baby? The thoughts make me cry harder, and before I can stop myself, I’m sobbing uncontrollably, the tears making it hard to see and even harder to breathe. My chest constricts with every breath I take. I’m gasping for air, gasping for Ryker.
“Ava?” Gabby’s voice rings throughout the room, and I pull my knees to my chest, wanting to hide the pain I’m feeling.
“Is everything okay out here?” Marie appears a second later. Her presence reminds me of the secrets that she’s hiding, and I cry harder, my head resting against my knees. I just want to crawl into a ball and hide away.
“What happened, Ava?” Gabby must finally notice me sitting on the floor because I feel her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look up at her, even though I don’t want to.
“He left… Ryker found out about the baby…and he left….” I can barely get the words out. My lungs burn and my eyes ache as I blink away the tears, trying to look at Gabby who’s still gripping me by the shoulders.
“What do you mean he left? And how did he find out about the baby?” Gabby questions. I shake my head, swallowing down the sob that wants to escape me.
“He found the baby book, and he just… I didn’t mean to hide it from him. I was going to tell him, Gabby. I was.” I need someone to understand, to know I wasn’t trying to deceive him. All I wanted was for us to get to know each other, for him to maybe fall in love with me…not me and a baby. Now everything is ruined, and I don’t know where to go from here.
What if he really is done, and doesn’t want me or the baby anymore? I can’t fathom being the reason he never comes back. How will I ever explain that to our child? My panic rises again, and I feel like I’m going to pass out.
“Hey, Ava. Slow down, take a breath, and tell us what happened,” Marie starts, sinking to the floor on the other side of me.
Having both my best friends