holding me up helps more than I can even put into words, and I suck fresh air into my lungs before I start, trying to calm myself long enough to actually get the words out.
“Everything was so perfect last night,” I tell them, looking back and forth between them. Gabby wraps an arm around me, pulling me into her side to give me strength, while Marie takes one of my shaking hands in hers. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t perfect the whole time, but by the end? I really thought he felt the same way I did. I still do. We fell asleep wrapped around one another, and then this morning…” My voice breaks and I have to stop. I’m not sure I can do this. I don’t know if I can tell them just what an idiot I am.
Marie rubs my hand between hers, trying to warm my cold-as-ice fingers. It’s comforting, but I still struggle to get the words past the lump in my throat. “This morning, I woke up and the sheets were cold. I thought I imagined it all, that he left after I fell asleep and regretted what happened. He was rough, more rough than he was the other times, and all I could think was maybe he was ashamed or something.”
Gabby nods in agreement, humming under her breath and tightening her hold on me. I let my body relax into hers and rest my head on her shoulder as I watch this morning playout in my head like a movie while I retell them what happened.
“I came out into the living room, and he was just sitting here. He looked shell-shocked, and so, so angry. As soon as I saw the baby book in his hand, I knew he knew, and in that moment, I was convinced everything was over, and I was right.” I can feel the tears sting my eyes again, and I try my hardest to blink them away.
“Oh, Ava,” Gabby sighs. “I told you that you needed to tell him. No matter what was going on with the two of you, he’s this” –she puts her hand over my still flat stomach— “baby’s father. I get that you wanted him to love you first, but the two of you went about everything so ass-backwards. Maybe if you give him a little time to cool off the two of you can talk it out. Right now, he’s probably in shock, and I can guarantee that he’s pissed that you kept something that big from him. My advice is to just give him a little time. If he cares about you as much as I think he does then he’ll be back.”
Maybe she’s right, but right now, I can’t see past the fury and pain on his face when he realized I was pregnant and hadn’t told him. How do we come back from that? He thinks I betrayed him. I can’t imagine what he’s thinking right now, or how he feels.
I want to go to him and tell him how sorry I am for everything.
“I don’t know, Gabby. The only thing I’m sure of right now is that I’m a horrible person for keeping this from him.”
Marie snorts, and Gabby and I both turn our attention to her. “Ava, the last thing you are is a horrible person. That asshole doesn’t deserve you or that baby. None of the Winstons deserve to be happy.” The edge to her voice is sharp enough to cut someone straight down the middle. This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this, and my curiosity gets the best of me. Wanting to know what her deal is trumps how awful I feel right now.
“What are you talking about, Marie?” Gabby asks before I can. “You’ve been bitching about them since Ava started working there and figured out he’s the one she slept with.”
I can feel the question burning against my lips and part of me doesn’t even want to ask, but I can’t help myself. “Did you sleep with Ryker?”
Marie’s face screws up in disgust. “God no. That’s disgusting.”
Her words are like a slap in the face, considering I obviously did, but the memory of Reed’s face when he heard her name last night comes back to me, and I know whatever is wrong or going with her has something to do with him, not Ryker. “Was it Reed? Is that why he reacted the way he did last night?” I ask, determined to get