wanted you to lose the opportunity of your scholarship.”
“If he wants to make amends, he can face me.”
She places her hand on my thigh and I jolt for a moment before relaxing under her touch. “He went to the hospital. You know that, right?”
I say nothing. No one told me he came.
“Austin kicked him out. Said they didn’t want you any more aggravated than you already were. I kind of think he wanted to do the same to me.”
I look at her, then back at her hand on my thigh. The rich darkness of her skin still contrasts with my tanned thigh, even after a summer spent in the sun. I long to touch more of her, but instead, I take her hand in mine, wanting to feel its softness and remember her touch, even if it is only just her hand. Our fingers slide along one another’s, getting comfortable with the feeling since we never had the opportunity to be anything more than friends who always teetered on the line of being more.
“Why do you always paint your nails?” She keeps her nails short but always painted.
She huffs because that’s not what she wants to talk about. She wants to talk about feelings and say goodbye when I just want to avoid the topic. “My mom never paints hers because she works with her hands so much. She used to paint mine as a kid and say things like, ‘One of us has to be pretty for Daddy’ or ‘One of us needs to have nice hands so they don’t think we’re all a bunch of scoundrels.’ It just kind of stuck and now I always have them painted.”
We sit in silence for another minute while I try to memorize the feeling of her hand in mine.
“You’ll be away for the next anniversary.” She’ll be in New York City for the anniversary of her dad’s death.
“I know,” she says quietly.
“What do you think you’ll do?”
She laughs, probably remembering that night we jumped in the lake. A warm feeling fills my chest because I gave her that. A memory that makes her laugh on a day that will always bring her sadness.
“I’m not sure. Maybe I should find something crazy to do, like bungee jump off the Empire State Building?”
I knock her with my shoulder. “You might get arrested.”
“It might be worth it.”
“If you weren’t so scared,” I tease.
She huffs again and eventually nods. “Yeah, my wild side lives vicariously through you.”
“I’ll take that as a challenge.” I tighten my hold on her hand.
“I should probably get going,” she says without moving an inch.
That damn boat sets off another round of fireworks. The ashes sprinkle down around us and fizzle when they hit the surface of the water.
“It’s so beautiful here,” she says. “I’m going to miss it.”
“Are you really?”
She slides her hand out from mine, probably because of the edge in my voice. “Yes, I’m going to miss Lake Starlight.”
“Are you going to miss me?” I could lie and say I didn’t mean for that question to fall out of my mouth, but I want the answer.
She rocks her shoulder to mine. “Of course I’m going to miss you.”
“Then why don’t we try the long distance thing? I know it won’t be easy—”
“King, we can’t.” She shakes her head and looks at the water.
“Give me a few months to get things in line. I’m sure I can figure something out to get me out to New York City with you.”
She blows out a breath and startles when the boat sets off another huge round of fireworks. We both use the beauty of the colors exploding in the sky as a distraction for a moment, watching the colors trickle down to the water in front of us.
“You can’t come to New York. Your life is here, plus… you need to heal things with Owen. He feels horrible for what happened.”
“How would you know that?” I snap.
“I saw him yesterday. To say goodbye.”
I spring to my feet, the restless energy and agitation I’m so used to overtaking me. “So I’m second place once again?”
“No. Come and sit back down.” She pats the spot I stood from.
“I need to breathe, and I can’t do that with you next to me.” My fingers weave together on the back of my head and I pull on my neck, hoping for some relief. “I don’t get it, Stella. I’ve done everything for our future, and you keep pushing me away. Just be straight—do you not