to the downfall of their friendship. All because of me.
“Did you know Kingston liked you?”
I shake my head. “No. He was kind of flirty with a lot of the girls at school. I didn’t realize he actually liked me until…”
“Finally you’re going to give me the good stuff,” she says, dipping another fry. “These will make you feel better, I promise.”
I pick up a fry. “I should tell you, my dad died when I was nine, which spurred my mom to move to Lake Starlight. She took the life insurance money and bought a bed-and-breakfast for us to start over. I don’t know if you know, but Kingston’s parents died in a snowmobile accident when he was ten.”
Her face softens like most people’s do after they hear the tragic news. “I’m sorry for both of you.”
“Thank you, but the fact that we both lost people close to us, we bonded over that. Our senior year, I was walking through downtown Lake Starlight and it had just started to snow. It was reported we were going to get a heavy storm and school would be canceled the next day. I wanted to be alone because it was the anniversary of my dad’s death.”
Then I’m transported back to that scene, and I’m not just telling the story to Allie but experiencing that moment all over again.
“Stella?” Kingston asks, as if he’s not sure it’s me under my big coat and hat, when he walks out of the bookstore.
“Hey, Kingston,” I say and weave past him. We aren’t really friends anymore and I’m sure he wants to continue on his way.
“You okay?” He follows me, dipping his head to see in my eyes. “Did something happen with Owen?”
I shake my head. Owen has no idea where I am right now. A tear slips down my face, and Kingston’s hand lightly grasps my upper arm. He detours us off Main Street to the shore of Lake Starlight. We walk down the long wood dock in silence, and he takes his book out of the bag before placing the plastic bag down for me to sit on. Our feet dangle off the dock over the freezing water.
He doesn’t pry for me to tell him the reason for my tears, but the silence is too uncomfortable for me. “It’s the anniversary.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs.
For some reason, the fact that I didn’t have to tell him specifically what anniversary, that he just knew, reinforces the bond I’ve always felt with him. Like he knows a secret. I guess he does.
“What do you do?” I ask.
He shrugs. “You won’t do what I do.” He moves the book in his hands, fanning out the pages.
“Why?”
He huffs. “We’re different. You’re walking the streets of Lake Starlight crying and I… well, I’d be unleashing my anger.”
“You’re still angry?”
He huffs. “I think I’ll always be angry. Aren’t you?”
I haven’t been angry in some time. Sure, I’m upset and feel as though life isn’t fair, that my dad was taken too soon, but anger isn’t ever a part of it. “Not really. I’m sad. Especially for my mom. She locks herself in her art room, and tomorrow she’ll come out and act like everything is perfect. She’s so disciplined with her grieving. I’m jealous.”
“Sometimes I think it’s best that my parents went together. That’s what my grandma says. Even though it’s one of those bullshit lines people say. I wish one of them was here for us, maybe for them, it was meant to happen that way. I’m not saying your parents didn’t love one another the way mine did.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t take it that way.”
We sit in silence while he fiddles with his book and I sway my legs back and forth.
“What would you do, Kingston?”
“Hell. I’d probably jump in the lake or do some other crazy shit.”
I peek at him, the moonlight reflecting down on his dark hair and boyish grin. My gaze casts out to the dark lake. It hasn’t frozen over yet, and the light sprinkle of snowflakes disintegrate when they touch the water’s surface. A sudden urge to feel the cold water hits me, maybe it will numb the pain.
Standing, I shed my coat, hat, and mitts, then kick off my boots.
“What are you doing?” Kingston glances beside him then back in front, trying to be the polite boy he was raised to be.
“I’m going in.”
He springs up, shaking the dock. “No, you’re not. You’ll die. It’s too cold.”
I smile and jump in with my