helpless and frail, and, despite her attitude, she was vulnerable.
Doesn’t change the fact that seeing her in my things stirs something deep inside that feels unhinged and a little wild. I don’t trust myself.
Better for me to not look at her at all.
No, better for us both.
And so, I look as little as I can.
Easy for me to pretend she’s not here, except for now, when she wakes and will not… stop… talking.
“The French and Indian War? That can’t be real.”
She’s been reading silently behind me at her place near the woodstove. I should’ve known she wouldn’t stay quiet for long.
“They would’ve taught us about that in school.” I hear a page turn, followed by seconds of silence. “I’m surprised they never turned this book into a movie.”
She can’t be serious. I’d guess her to be in her mid-twenties, which would mean she was only a toddler when the movie was released.
“Keanu Reeves could play Hawkeye.”
What the fuck.
“A little John Wick, native style, ya know?”
I turn around slowly, hoping she doesn’t hear me move so I can catch her with her eyes to the book, but I’m met with those big, gray orbs dancing with laughter.
“You should see your face right now,” she says, laughing. “You’d think I just told you Harley Davidson was made in China.”
I scowl.
“Oh, that’s a motorcycle company, in case you didn’t know.”
“I know what a Harley is.”
She holds her hands up and smirks. “My bad, Grizzly Adams. For all I know, you were born out here and raised by wolves.”
“Harley Davidson’s are made in China. Among other places.”
Her smile falls along with her jaw.
I tilt my head.
“They are not.”
She can’t be this clueless. “The French and Indian War did happen, and The Last of the Mohicans is already a movie.”
Her satisfied smile confirms she’s not clueless. She was goading me, and I fell for it.
Frustrated at how easily she’s able to get to me, I go back to working on the fishing lure and attempt to subdue the irritation that twists my stomach. I’m hoping to get a few fish now that we’re out of fresh meat. I have some freeze-dried but would like to keep that for emergencies only. Having a whole extra mouth to feed has significantly strained my food rations.
“Where are you going?” she asks when I get up and grab my pole and supplies. “Fishing? Is there a lake nearby? Can I go—”
I slam the door before she can get out another word.
This cabin has always been my refuge. With her, it feels more like a padded cell.
It’s a short walk from the cabin to the lake. The beat-up dock extends only a few yards into the lake, and an old rowboat is flipped over on the shore and mostly eaten by the elements. I tell myself every fall that, come summer, I’ll redo the dock and get a new boat, but I get too caught up to ever do so. Given the pride my grandfather had in his property, I bet he’s giving me the finger from the grave at what I’ve let it become.
A cold drizzle leaks from the stormy gray skies as I set my lure and line.
Raised by wolves.
She’s right to believe that about me.
“You’re different. But the world won’t learn to work around you. You’ll need to learn how to adapt to the world.”
My grandfather’s words ring in my ears.
Adapt to the world.
My success in this life has always depended on my ability to impersonate those around me. I’ve learned when it’s appropriate to shake hands and smile, those I need to put on a show for, but the show is exhausting.
She thinks I was raised by wolves, and she hasn’t even seen me at my worst yet.
I hope like hell she never will.
Jordan
Not a mountain man, after all.
He reacted to my baiting to prove he hasn’t spent his entire life in this log shack.
I read as many chapters as I can, until I assume he’s a good distance away and well involved in fishing. I set down my book and get up to explore. My ribs ache, but my legs feel useful again and my head less foggy. I tiptoe to the far side of the room where he spends most of his time sitting at the small table. I’ve wondered what he does while he sits silently with his back toward me. A wooden box the size of a boot box sits in the middle of the table. The wood looks old and weathered,