and didn’t give it a second thought. I just wanted it to stop.”
I reach out and put my hand over his clenched fist. “You didn’t mean for her to die.”
His haunted eyes lock on mine. “Doesn’t change the fact that I killed her.”
“It was an accident.”
He pulls his hand away from mine. “No, it wasn’t. I hit the wall on purpose.” He stands and walks to the kitchen, his back toward me. His hands brace on the table, and his head sinks low between his shoulders. “I’d like to think I’m not capable of doing anything like that ever again, but I honestly don’t know.”
“Is that why you haven’t driven since? You’re afraid of what you might do?”
His head dips by way of an answer.
The silence stretches between us, and I’m at a loss for how to comfort him. His demons are his own, and I couldn’t wrestle them for him, even if he’d let me.
“You look like her.” His deep, ominous tone raises goosebumps on my skin. “I couldn’t bear to look at you when I first brought you here.” His shoulders seem to swell under his sweater. “Every time you opened your mouth, I expected to hear her voice.”
That explains why he hated my questions, refused to talk or engage in conversation, and avoided me other than to nurse me back to health.
A life for a life.
Did he save me as a way of paying penance for what happened to Brandy?
“You wouldn’t stop talking, and eventually, I found myself longing to hear you speak. You made me feel… lighter, somehow.”
“Do you still see her when you look at me?” Because if so, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to make this work. I can’t represent the ghost of his biggest regret.
He turns and looks at me with a gaze so intense it locks me in place. “No. Nothing about you reminds me of her anymore. You don’t care about my money or my business. You push my buttons, but you seem to know when to stop. And when we have sex, I get the sense that you actually like me.”
I exhale my relief and cross to him. “I do like you. A lot. So much so that I can’t imagine living my life without you.”
He pulls me by my belt loop and into his arms. “I didn’t know how badly I needed to hear that until you said it.” He nuzzles my neck, and his lips brush against my throat, sending a current of warm electricity through me. “I want you. I need you. Everyday. Forever.”
I run my hands through his hair while he continues to speak against my throat.
“Tell me what I need to do to make this work.” The pleading in his voice squeezes my heart. “I’ll do anything you want.”
With a hold on his head, I pull him back enough to get his eyes. “All we can do is try.”
He seems disappointed. As if I could give him a magic formula that ensures we’ll live happily ever after. But I don’t think one exists.
His lips hover close to mine, but he lets me be the one to close the distance. As desperate as I’ve felt to get back into his arms, our kiss is not urgent. He licks into my mouth unhurried, as if all we have is time.
His big hands hold onto my face as if he’s worried that if he lets go, I’ll disappear. The slow, deliberate seduction of his kiss packs an emotional punch, and tears swell behind my lids. To think this beautiful, brilliant man felt so undeserving of love that he settled for encounters that were business transactions rather than emotional connections.
He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine, eyes closed and breathing deeply. “Are you okay?”
I sniff, feeling the emotion get the best of me. “I almost made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving you.”
He pulls back enough for me to see the blazing intensity in his eyes. His thumbs brush softly against my cheeks. “I’ll live every day making sure you don’t regret staying.”
“I know you will.”
With little effort, he picks me up and places my butt on the table before stepping between my legs. His lips brush against my neck, and he pulls the neck of my sweater aside to kiss down to my collarbone. “Starting now.”
I help him to lift off layers of clothing down to my bra. He pushes the strap off my shoulder and spends time lavishing my skin